Two hours ago the owner of this sweet little rental apartment came by to drop off the missing chair-bed and blankets and sheets we'll need when the family shows up tomorrow night, and he showed me that they had made up the bed in the fold out couch, and I told him I had found the extra pillows. (They do pillows and pillow cases right in Europe - big, just soft enough, covered with super-fresh linens). Well, the doorbell just rang and it was him again, he returned to hand me another blanket he had forgotten and 2 bagettes (because I had mentioned I forgot to get them at the market). If anyone needs a week or so stay in Toulouse, write me. This is our third time here, and it just gets better. I'll give you the info.
So anyway, it being Sunday morning, I made my way to the market, a lovely oval shaped 1 story brick building with produce stands all around the outside (during the week it's all used books :-) ) and meat, cheese and fish so fresh you can't find it with your nose, you just bump into the stands by accident. I bought 3 lamb chops (or sheep chops, probably), 1 very large snow white mushroom, a 1/2 lb of butter, 3 carrots, 1 zucchini.
Every one of the merchants smiled and was extra helpful. The days of them being mean to people who don't speak proper (or any) French seem to be gone, at least from this part of France. The opposite seems true. They looked genuinely delighted when I tried to explain what I wanted. The woman who sold me some truly proud and handsome carrots and the huge white mushroom, on learning that I needed some 'beurre,' gave me a big grin and said 'I weel show you.' She opened the heavy plastic curtain to the inside and pointed to one of the glass cases that said "Cremerie."
"Ah!" I said. "D'accord!" (I sure hope that means 'Of course!')
Then I bought a pear. This man seemed more serious, more French - big with a craggy face and a bit of a scowl. I poked at some rock-hard pears and said 'Quand?' He looked askance. 'Pour manger?' I said, mimicking eating one. He nodded with respect and found a large, mottled one and let me squeeze it. It seemed okay. Not pretty but just firm enough, so I got it. When he gave me my change I accidentally dropped a coin among the pears and he leaned over and moved some pears and found it -- it was a tiny penny (centime?) and we both grinned and shrugged. Such is life. Weh, weh.
I carried my little bags back, climbed the stairs and took off my coat (and Romeo's coat, too, and if you don't know who he is, well, I'm not going to tell you because it doesn't really advance the story here). Was I hungry? A little maybe. But I was more than ready to finally eat some protein and have my first dinner since I got here 3 days ago. (Don't ask. You don't want to know. Suffice it to say I was up each morning at 4 starving, waiting for the hotel to serve carbs and coffee at seven. Such hardship.)
Well, I put butter in the pan and thin-sliced in about half the mushroom while I got the chops out of the fridge. I kept the mushroom slices away from each other because I watched 'Julie and Julia' on the plane coming over and Julia Childs says Don't Crowd The Mushrooms. Anyway, I wanted them to brown so I always do that anyway. I just don't think, in that high-pitched stentorian tone "Don't Crowd The Mushrooms." It may have had an effect, because she was right. Oh my was she right.
While the chop was cooking, I removed the golden mushroom slices to the waiting plate and ate them with a fork, standing there at the stove. OMG. Sooo good. Why? I don't know. But I've done that in NY and they didn't taste like this. Is it the butter? Oh, mercy.
Then I ate the chop. Good God, it was fantastic. Slightly tough, nothing on it but a little salt and pepper. But the taste was in technicolor. Gorgeous. Why was it so good? I wasn't starving. There's no reason it should taste like that. But it did.
And now the whole apartment reeks like a quick-fry joint on a Sunday at Ocean Park, even though an hour has passed. I hope the smell has gone by the time my son and family get here tomorrow night because it's gotten really cold again and I don't want to open the windows to air the place out. And it hits you, that smell.
But I don't care. I'd do it again. In fact, I will surely do it again because I have 2 chops, butter and the other half of that huge snowy mushroom still resting patiently in the fridge, waiting for my hunger to return whereupon I know they will, shmoo-like, offer themselves to me yet again, their hearts full of joy.
I never realized that food in France is excellent even when you cook it yourself. Even when you are a minimalist cook -- which is what I very generously call myself. But it is better than what I cook the same way back in New York. The French grow it differently, I'm sure of it. Or they say spells over it, handed down since the middle ages. It's not my imagination. Oh my. Maybe I'll go to sleep until I get hungry again.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
OKAY, BIG ANNOUNCEMENT HERE TONIGHT
I just spent many hours on this announcement and 2 minutes ago sent it off to my heroic techie. Hopefully it will be sent out to my whole mailing list. I hope so because this is new and I need some reactions -- I even like those 'Out of Office' responses because they react so quickly! (Don't be shy about leaving comments if you have a moment -- even if it's to point out a typo. It's nice to know someone's there.)
Hi All
I believe this is a launch. Never used that word for anything in the past, though I'm sure I've launched things before. But there's something unusual behind this launch and I want to say it out loud to you. I'm doing this particular launch because, plain and simple - I don't want to market anymore.
I don't want to market anymore. I want to do the work I love doing but I don't want to sell it anymore.
Now, I know a lot of people don't want to market anymore, and I know that you have to do it anyway. Most of the time. But I've been doing my work and marketing it for a very long time and now I want to stop. Before I announce to you the change I'm beginning as of right now, I first would like to do some more complaining.
I don't want to send out lots of newsletters and emails saying 'Come to my party,' I simply want to announce it. I'll be happy to tell you when I'm running Resistance classes or IdeaParties on conference calls and give you the dates & locations for the spring and fall Scanner and the WriteSpeak program -- and then stop right there. After that I want to write newsletters about other things, marvelous things that I discover and want to tell you about.
I don't want to promote any of the books or audios or kits I sell on geniuspress either (and you might have noticed that I never have done so).
What pops into my head is what John Cusack says in the wonderful 1989 movie, 'Say Anything,'
I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed -- or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
That makes me laugh every time I read it. But here's my point.
To my great surprise, I'm becoming an old lady. Now, please don't write to tell me I'm not really old and all that stuff. I know, I know. Like all old people who were born learners and observers to start with, I know I'm getting smarter every year, and like all old people who are paying attention, I understand clearly what 'time limits,' means. As a result, I have a very clear picture of what I want to do in the coming few years while I'm still sturdy and bossy, and that is to tell you everything I know.
This is not a pitch. This is what I've been thinking, and it won't let go of me. So consider it the first of my announcements and you're welcome to ignore it if you like. You'll know if it's right for you or not.
Now, since I've never tried very hard to accumulate Wealth and build Empires, I'll still need income. But I'd like to be paid for what I teach, not for my marketing skills.
So, I want to announce some subscription/membership programs that will give you such huge discounts you'll come on your own and I won't have to do all the difficult, time-consuming stuff that I really can't delegate.
I'm also going to teach a year-long Master Class. This is big. This is about me trying to make sure that the best of my work will continue to be out in the world even if I'm abducted by aliens. It's designed mostly for coaches (you'll be certified when you complete the course) but I really hope to see teachers, parents and talk show hosts in it, anyone who helps people and wants to learn how to do what I do.
How to do what I do. I used to think it wasn't exactly teachable, that all I could do was let you watch me do it. But now, happily enough, I know how to teach it. Now people can learn it and use it to help other people. That's what feels really right at this time in my life.
If that looks right for you too, maybe you should be at this Master Class. I'm going to teach the most important of all the techniques I've developed, as well as showing you how to get a little bit famous, like I am. :-)
Everything starts in January of 2010. (If you've already signed up for any of my programs in 2010, you can still subscribe and get your huge & massive discount on those programs.)
Okay, here's what it is and here's the fee for each choice. (No, I don't do up-sells and I won't make you read 20 pages and click 10 links to find out what everything costs.)
(Toe In The Water) Level I Club - $600
If you want to learn as much as you can about knocking down the walls of your resistance as well as getting dozens of great brains to help you come up with ideas and info but you'd like a little anonymity and time to decide if you want to go further, this is probably the right choice for you. At Level I you'll be able to attend (or get the recordings of) all my Resistance and IdeaParty teleclasses in 2010 for free. I'm planning to do at least 10 of them.
You'll also be able to head over to www.geniuspress.com and look at all the books, audios and kits and pick any or all of them (electronic or hard copy) for 50% of the price. (Incidentally, the prices haven't changed in years and I won't be slipping in there and raising them in advance, either.)
And if you'd like to halve the tariff for my new BigCheapWeekendWorkshop in NY in June (it's going to be terrific and I'm smiling as I think of it) you'll be able to do that, too.
Now, my math's not great but I figure you'll get at least $2000 dollars worth of goodies right there (and I expect to add more stuff -- like a CD of all my audio tips, for instance -- during the year). It's good stuff.
You'll get the most benefit (and make my life easier) if you sign up via Paypal before January 15. Ask everyone to give you cash for Xmas and you can probably make it work.
(Ready to Splash Around Big Time) Level II Club - $2400
If you'd like all the above but you really want to work with me face-to-face in a 5-day retreat in 2010, this is for you. At the same huge 50% discount you'll be able to attend one of the year's Scanner retreats (in some gorgeous locale). If you want to, you can sign up for the whole WriteSpeak program, too (which includes its own 5-day retreat). If you've ever wanted to be part of a really special community/support team, a retreat is where you'll find it. What happens after the retreats is as important as what happens during them. (Check out the testimonials on www.geniuspress.com for Scanner Retreats and the WriteSpeak program and you'll see what I mean.)
For the Ready to Splash Around Big Time Level II Club you really do have to get in before January 15 because the next WriteSpeak Pt I Teleworkshop is January 16 and it's the prerequisite for the rest of the program). Now, my math, if this makes any difference, says that you will not only save the $2000 value of the Toe in The Water Club, but in addition, up to $3500 if you take advantage of everything above. (I'll send you either audios or transcripts for anything you can't attend.)
If you've already signed up for the April Scanner Retreat in France, or the Jan, Feb WriteSpeak program in New York and you want to subscribe at this level, that's fine. I'll be happy to get someone to figure out the math and make it come out right.
(Taking the Veil) Coaching Certification Master Class - $8400
Well, I don't really know much about taking the veil except from the movies. It looked all gallant and romantic with Audrey Hepburn, and wonderfully evil and powerful in The Blues Brothers so I'm pretty convinced of my own total ignorance here and I guess that's not really what I mean.
What I do mean is this: if you're ready to make a serious commitment to becoming the best counselor/teacher/helper/coach you possibly can be, by accessing and developing your innate talents and learning how to do pretty much everything I do, if you want to be part of a tightly-knit, supportive and brilliant community, and if you'd also like to make a better-than-decent living at it, then this is the right choice for you.
Some of you have watched (or heard) me guide someone through a 'self correcting scenario,' for instance, or take someone back to the source of their resistance (and often the source of their parents' as well) and you've seen the light bulb go on as they finally understood the true picture of who they are and why they do what they do, and how to change it in a profound way.
If so, you might be one of the people who wanted to know what was happening: 'How did you do that?' 'Why did you say this at this time?' 'How did you know that was the wrong path, how did you see the right path?'
If that kind of thing matters to you, the Master Class is for you.
Showing dedicated, talented people how to help others by fully using their gifts and showing them how to do everything I've learned to do and showing them how to make a better-than-decent living so they'll want to keep doing it for years and years -- that's how I want to spend my remaining time on this planet.
So as of today I pronounce that I insofar as I am able, I shall no longer market anything and all my newsletters and blogs will be about wonderful stuff I love to write about.
REGARDING ALL THE MANY DETAILS I'VE LEFT OUT:
I'm going to put up some pages on Genius Press to spell out all the many details of this big new thing, like how to be interviewed for the Master Class and nice lists of what you'll get such as the Master Class will get free admission to the BigCheapWeekendWorkshop in June and you'll all get advance notice of any events I schedule. That sort of thing. I'll also explain that I won't be doing swaps or payments because they're too hard to keep track of, and how there's room for everyone in the Level I Club, but room for not so many people in the Level II Club and room for very few in the Master Class.
(Which is why I'm going to close admission as soon as I've hit the right numbers so I wouldn't stall about this too long.)
And there's got to be a whole lot more I need to explain.
But it's been a long day figuring this out all this and I'll never in this world get the extra information up on the website for at least few more days.
HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
* You can say 'I know all I need to know, Count me in,' and go into Paypal and send a payment to my email address (if you don't have it, just hit reply to this announcement and me ask for it. I'll enjoy getting that kind of request.)
or
* You can hit reply and ask me questions, which I'd actually welcome because I know for sure I haven't worked out every detail and your bewilderment will make me aware of what's needed. As anyone in my WriteSpeak class will tell you, questions are very fine things.
I want you to use your talents and fulfill your dreams. I want that a lot. I think that's a good thing that I can do for you and for the world.
Okay, that's what I wanted to tell you.
Barbara
To help you plan, here are the dates I know about so far:
The WriteSpeak Part I Teleworkshop: January 16, 2010, from 11 am to 5 pm (or so).
(I may schedule a second Teleworkshop before the retreat. Watch this space.)
The WriteSpeak Part II Retreat: February 12 - 17, 2010 in New York City.
The Scanner Retreat: April 6 - 11, 2010 in a medieval village in France
Another Scanner Retreat in Europe in the fall, when the weather cools down.
The Big Cheap Weekend Workshop, probably June 25-27, 2010 in New York City.
Okay, now you know everything I know.
Hi All
I believe this is a launch. Never used that word for anything in the past, though I'm sure I've launched things before. But there's something unusual behind this launch and I want to say it out loud to you. I'm doing this particular launch because, plain and simple - I don't want to market anymore.
I don't want to market anymore. I want to do the work I love doing but I don't want to sell it anymore.
Now, I know a lot of people don't want to market anymore, and I know that you have to do it anyway. Most of the time. But I've been doing my work and marketing it for a very long time and now I want to stop. Before I announce to you the change I'm beginning as of right now, I first would like to do some more complaining.
I don't want to send out lots of newsletters and emails saying 'Come to my party,' I simply want to announce it. I'll be happy to tell you when I'm running Resistance classes or IdeaParties on conference calls and give you the dates & locations for the spring and fall Scanner and the WriteSpeak program -- and then stop right there. After that I want to write newsletters about other things, marvelous things that I discover and want to tell you about.
I don't want to promote any of the books or audios or kits I sell on geniuspress either (and you might have noticed that I never have done so).
What pops into my head is what John Cusack says in the wonderful 1989 movie, 'Say Anything,'
I don't want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed -- or repair anything sold, bought or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that.
That makes me laugh every time I read it. But here's my point.
To my great surprise, I'm becoming an old lady. Now, please don't write to tell me I'm not really old and all that stuff. I know, I know. Like all old people who were born learners and observers to start with, I know I'm getting smarter every year, and like all old people who are paying attention, I understand clearly what 'time limits,' means. As a result, I have a very clear picture of what I want to do in the coming few years while I'm still sturdy and bossy, and that is to tell you everything I know.
This is not a pitch. This is what I've been thinking, and it won't let go of me. So consider it the first of my announcements and you're welcome to ignore it if you like. You'll know if it's right for you or not.
Now, since I've never tried very hard to accumulate Wealth and build Empires, I'll still need income. But I'd like to be paid for what I teach, not for my marketing skills.
So, I want to announce some subscription/membership programs that will give you such huge discounts you'll come on your own and I won't have to do all the difficult, time-consuming stuff that I really can't delegate.
I'm also going to teach a year-long Master Class. This is big. This is about me trying to make sure that the best of my work will continue to be out in the world even if I'm abducted by aliens. It's designed mostly for coaches (you'll be certified when you complete the course) but I really hope to see teachers, parents and talk show hosts in it, anyone who helps people and wants to learn how to do what I do.
How to do what I do. I used to think it wasn't exactly teachable, that all I could do was let you watch me do it. But now, happily enough, I know how to teach it. Now people can learn it and use it to help other people. That's what feels really right at this time in my life.
If that looks right for you too, maybe you should be at this Master Class. I'm going to teach the most important of all the techniques I've developed, as well as showing you how to get a little bit famous, like I am. :-)
Everything starts in January of 2010. (If you've already signed up for any of my programs in 2010, you can still subscribe and get your huge & massive discount on those programs.)
Okay, here's what it is and here's the fee for each choice. (No, I don't do up-sells and I won't make you read 20 pages and click 10 links to find out what everything costs.)
(Toe In The Water) Level I Club - $600
If you want to learn as much as you can about knocking down the walls of your resistance as well as getting dozens of great brains to help you come up with ideas and info but you'd like a little anonymity and time to decide if you want to go further, this is probably the right choice for you. At Level I you'll be able to attend (or get the recordings of) all my Resistance and IdeaParty teleclasses in 2010 for free. I'm planning to do at least 10 of them.
You'll also be able to head over to www.geniuspress.com and look at all the books, audios and kits and pick any or all of them (electronic or hard copy) for 50% of the price. (Incidentally, the prices haven't changed in years and I won't be slipping in there and raising them in advance, either.)
And if you'd like to halve the tariff for my new BigCheapWeekendWorkshop in NY in June (it's going to be terrific and I'm smiling as I think of it) you'll be able to do that, too.
Now, my math's not great but I figure you'll get at least $2000 dollars worth of goodies right there (and I expect to add more stuff -- like a CD of all my audio tips, for instance -- during the year). It's good stuff.
You'll get the most benefit (and make my life easier) if you sign up via Paypal before January 15. Ask everyone to give you cash for Xmas and you can probably make it work.
(Ready to Splash Around Big Time) Level II Club - $2400
If you'd like all the above but you really want to work with me face-to-face in a 5-day retreat in 2010, this is for you. At the same huge 50% discount you'll be able to attend one of the year's Scanner retreats (in some gorgeous locale). If you want to, you can sign up for the whole WriteSpeak program, too (which includes its own 5-day retreat). If you've ever wanted to be part of a really special community/support team, a retreat is where you'll find it. What happens after the retreats is as important as what happens during them. (Check out the testimonials on www.geniuspress.com for Scanner Retreats and the WriteSpeak program and you'll see what I mean.)
For the Ready to Splash Around Big Time Level II Club you really do have to get in before January 15 because the next WriteSpeak Pt I Teleworkshop is January 16 and it's the prerequisite for the rest of the program). Now, my math, if this makes any difference, says that you will not only save the $2000 value of the Toe in The Water Club, but in addition, up to $3500 if you take advantage of everything above. (I'll send you either audios or transcripts for anything you can't attend.)
If you've already signed up for the April Scanner Retreat in France, or the Jan, Feb WriteSpeak program in New York and you want to subscribe at this level, that's fine. I'll be happy to get someone to figure out the math and make it come out right.
(Taking the Veil) Coaching Certification Master Class - $8400
Well, I don't really know much about taking the veil except from the movies. It looked all gallant and romantic with Audrey Hepburn, and wonderfully evil and powerful in The Blues Brothers so I'm pretty convinced of my own total ignorance here and I guess that's not really what I mean.
What I do mean is this: if you're ready to make a serious commitment to becoming the best counselor/teacher/helper/coach you possibly can be, by accessing and developing your innate talents and learning how to do pretty much everything I do, if you want to be part of a tightly-knit, supportive and brilliant community, and if you'd also like to make a better-than-decent living at it, then this is the right choice for you.
Some of you have watched (or heard) me guide someone through a 'self correcting scenario,' for instance, or take someone back to the source of their resistance (and often the source of their parents' as well) and you've seen the light bulb go on as they finally understood the true picture of who they are and why they do what they do, and how to change it in a profound way.
If so, you might be one of the people who wanted to know what was happening: 'How did you do that?' 'Why did you say this at this time?' 'How did you know that was the wrong path, how did you see the right path?'
If that kind of thing matters to you, the Master Class is for you.
Showing dedicated, talented people how to help others by fully using their gifts and showing them how to do everything I've learned to do and showing them how to make a better-than-decent living so they'll want to keep doing it for years and years -- that's how I want to spend my remaining time on this planet.
So as of today I pronounce that I insofar as I am able, I shall no longer market anything and all my newsletters and blogs will be about wonderful stuff I love to write about.
REGARDING ALL THE MANY DETAILS I'VE LEFT OUT:
I'm going to put up some pages on Genius Press to spell out all the many details of this big new thing, like how to be interviewed for the Master Class and nice lists of what you'll get such as the Master Class will get free admission to the BigCheapWeekendWorkshop in June and you'll all get advance notice of any events I schedule. That sort of thing. I'll also explain that I won't be doing swaps or payments because they're too hard to keep track of, and how there's room for everyone in the Level I Club, but room for not so many people in the Level II Club and room for very few in the Master Class.
(Which is why I'm going to close admission as soon as I've hit the right numbers so I wouldn't stall about this too long.)
And there's got to be a whole lot more I need to explain.
But it's been a long day figuring this out all this and I'll never in this world get the extra information up on the website for at least few more days.
HERE'S WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:
* You can say 'I know all I need to know, Count me in,' and go into Paypal and send a payment to my email address (if you don't have it, just hit reply to this announcement and me ask for it. I'll enjoy getting that kind of request.)
or
* You can hit reply and ask me questions, which I'd actually welcome because I know for sure I haven't worked out every detail and your bewilderment will make me aware of what's needed. As anyone in my WriteSpeak class will tell you, questions are very fine things.
I want you to use your talents and fulfill your dreams. I want that a lot. I think that's a good thing that I can do for you and for the world.
Okay, that's what I wanted to tell you.
Barbara
To help you plan, here are the dates I know about so far:
The WriteSpeak Part I Teleworkshop: January 16, 2010, from 11 am to 5 pm (or so).
(I may schedule a second Teleworkshop before the retreat. Watch this space.)
The WriteSpeak Part II Retreat: February 12 - 17, 2010 in New York City.
The Scanner Retreat: April 6 - 11, 2010 in a medieval village in France
Another Scanner Retreat in Europe in the fall, when the weather cools down.
The Big Cheap Weekend Workshop, probably June 25-27, 2010 in New York City.
Okay, now you know everything I know.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
BLUES MUSICIAN & WHY I LOVE MY JOB
Just got a letter from someone I had a session with a number of years ago. He worked in the Post Office (which was safe, but boring) and he loved the blues. He played blues when he could, and I think he even had a student or two at the time, but his dream was to find and record the remaining blues musicians, legendary to those who were knowledgeable, in the deep south, and he had no idea how to do it. "I'm not a famous musician, I don't have any money, how could I get there, and why would any of them let me into their homes?"
A few months later he was in his car, his recording equipment in the trunk, heading for the homes of some elderly blues musicians. He had money for gas, sandwiches and batteries, nothing extra. But these elderly musicians could see he was sincere and welcomed him. He recorded them. There's a lot more to that story (and I'll invite him to tell us about it one of these days -- and correct my memory if I've erred -- I can't find him anywhere in the book he mentions) but that trip changed his life.
Today he wrote me some wonderful letters. I think you might want to read them if you've got voices (internal or external) telling you that your dream is impossible:
Hi Barbara,
I don't know if you remember me, but you mentioned a bit of my story in your book 'It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now.' I'm the mailman (well, I was) that taught blues guitar in a music store in my spare time.
Well, I'm very happy to say that it's been 5 years now since I left the Post Office and I am now living my life long dream of performing and teaching music full time... and quite successfully at that!
I want to thank you for your books, tapes and for meeting with me in your studio for a one on one session. It all helped tremendously.
Thanks again!!!
TW
Nice. So I answered:
On Dec 9, 2009, at 12:33 PM, Barbara Sher wrote:
Of course I remember you, Toby. This is wonderful news! Thank you for thinking of me. You've made me very happy.
Tell me more. What are you doing and where?
Barbara
And here's his answer:
Hi Barbara,
First off... I'm very happy and fulfilled. I got back 7 weeks ago from my 9th tour of the U.K where I have a load of fans. I also have a wonderful agent here in the U.S. (not very many people in the acoustic music business are lucky enough to have one) and she's a pleasure to work with. We've been together now for 4 years... she has over 24 years of experience in the business so I'm working fairly steady. I'm now based in Denviille NJ and gig along the eastern seaboard... from Maryland where my agent is based to Boston. Most of the places I now play are real nice listening rooms... concerts as opposed to bars. Sometimes the shows are held in theaters... other times in churches.
Schools are also wonderful places to perform in... I do a special show for 5th to 8th graders which encompasses how the blues reflected the Great Migration of African Americans in America. Believe it or not... Carnegie Hall contacted me one year and had me perform over 40 of these shows in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, Westchester and Jersey City.
I have 9 CD's out now and I've been featured in all kinds of publications.. including the NY Times and the London Sunday Times... whoo boy!!!
I'm also teaching... I do that out of my home now but many times I give workshops on the road. For the last 5 years I've been very, very fortunate to have been teaching at quite a prestigious guitar camp in Ohio... the Fur Peace Ranch. It's run by the guitar player who used to be in the rock band Jefferson Airplane... Jorma Kaukonen. He's considered a real 'guitar god' among thousands of fans but it's kind of cool that he thinks I'm an incredible player as well.
I decided to leave the Post Office 5 years ago as I was earning more with music than with them. But the money wasn't the real issue. I needed to do something that spoke to me... I needed to honor my gift. Many, many times when I see a mail truck go by I remember how fortunate I am to have made that decision. My own mailman frequently laments how worse the job has gotten over the last few years. My goodness.
I'm also married... VERY happily to a wonderful woman named C. She just retired from teaching chorus in high school and she's a gifted musician... playing piano, harp, upright bass and mountain dulcimer. She says that she's always wanted a musician to travel with and we just couldn't be happier. She now is an accompanist to major choral group here in NJ... as well as doing work for plays and other productions in the area. Best of all, she loves helping me with all the paperwork (how lucky am I?) and loves going on the road with me. She's a fellow 'road warrior' and loves traveling as much as I do.
I've told her many times about how much you've inspired me and what kind of a woman you are. One of these days it would be great to have her meet you.
So, there you have it Barbara. Your words, in books, audio tapes and of course in person have helped me become the person I was meant to be. I really love you for it.
Always Lookin' Forward,
Toby Walker
http://www.littletobywalker.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/tobywalker123
http://www.myspace.com/tobyblues
United States and Canadian Representation:
McShane Glover, Noteworthy Productions, Annapolis, MD
410 268 8232
http://www.mcnote.com
email - mcshane@mcnote.com
U.K representation:
John Adams john.adams@mail.com
Basingstoke, England
Cell: 07702 554 989
Office: 01256 461 224
Radio Promotion:
Lisa Grey
Blue River Promotions
Tel: 914-762-2976
lgrey@optonline.net
Toby Walker uses:
Huss and Dalton Guitars - http://www.hussanddalton.com/
National Reso-Phonic Guitars - http://www.nationalguitars.com/
D'Addario Strings - http://www.daddario.com
Rocky Mountain Slides - http://www.rockymountainslides.com/
Ultrasound Amplifiers - http://www.ultrasoundamps.com/
'Nough said. I think you can see why I love my job. It's also why I'm giving a leg up to all my WriteSpeak students and grads (some of whom are already getting letters like this themselves!). When you love what you do, and when you can do some good in the world, you've got a pretty good life. And you're doing the right thing. Good feeling.
A few months later he was in his car, his recording equipment in the trunk, heading for the homes of some elderly blues musicians. He had money for gas, sandwiches and batteries, nothing extra. But these elderly musicians could see he was sincere and welcomed him. He recorded them. There's a lot more to that story (and I'll invite him to tell us about it one of these days -- and correct my memory if I've erred -- I can't find him anywhere in the book he mentions) but that trip changed his life.
Today he wrote me some wonderful letters. I think you might want to read them if you've got voices (internal or external) telling you that your dream is impossible:
Hi Barbara,
I don't know if you remember me, but you mentioned a bit of my story in your book 'It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now.' I'm the mailman (well, I was) that taught blues guitar in a music store in my spare time.
Well, I'm very happy to say that it's been 5 years now since I left the Post Office and I am now living my life long dream of performing and teaching music full time... and quite successfully at that!
I want to thank you for your books, tapes and for meeting with me in your studio for a one on one session. It all helped tremendously.
Thanks again!!!
TW
Nice. So I answered:
On Dec 9, 2009, at 12:33 PM, Barbara Sher wrote:
Of course I remember you, Toby. This is wonderful news! Thank you for thinking of me. You've made me very happy.
Tell me more. What are you doing and where?
Barbara
And here's his answer:
Hi Barbara,
First off... I'm very happy and fulfilled. I got back 7 weeks ago from my 9th tour of the U.K where I have a load of fans. I also have a wonderful agent here in the U.S. (not very many people in the acoustic music business are lucky enough to have one) and she's a pleasure to work with. We've been together now for 4 years... she has over 24 years of experience in the business so I'm working fairly steady. I'm now based in Denviille NJ and gig along the eastern seaboard... from Maryland where my agent is based to Boston. Most of the places I now play are real nice listening rooms... concerts as opposed to bars. Sometimes the shows are held in theaters... other times in churches.
Schools are also wonderful places to perform in... I do a special show for 5th to 8th graders which encompasses how the blues reflected the Great Migration of African Americans in America. Believe it or not... Carnegie Hall contacted me one year and had me perform over 40 of these shows in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens, Westchester and Jersey City.
I have 9 CD's out now and I've been featured in all kinds of publications.. including the NY Times and the London Sunday Times... whoo boy!!!
I'm also teaching... I do that out of my home now but many times I give workshops on the road. For the last 5 years I've been very, very fortunate to have been teaching at quite a prestigious guitar camp in Ohio... the Fur Peace Ranch. It's run by the guitar player who used to be in the rock band Jefferson Airplane... Jorma Kaukonen. He's considered a real 'guitar god' among thousands of fans but it's kind of cool that he thinks I'm an incredible player as well.
I decided to leave the Post Office 5 years ago as I was earning more with music than with them. But the money wasn't the real issue. I needed to do something that spoke to me... I needed to honor my gift. Many, many times when I see a mail truck go by I remember how fortunate I am to have made that decision. My own mailman frequently laments how worse the job has gotten over the last few years. My goodness.
I'm also married... VERY happily to a wonderful woman named C. She just retired from teaching chorus in high school and she's a gifted musician... playing piano, harp, upright bass and mountain dulcimer. She says that she's always wanted a musician to travel with and we just couldn't be happier. She now is an accompanist to major choral group here in NJ... as well as doing work for plays and other productions in the area. Best of all, she loves helping me with all the paperwork (how lucky am I?) and loves going on the road with me. She's a fellow 'road warrior' and loves traveling as much as I do.
I've told her many times about how much you've inspired me and what kind of a woman you are. One of these days it would be great to have her meet you.
So, there you have it Barbara. Your words, in books, audio tapes and of course in person have helped me become the person I was meant to be. I really love you for it.
Always Lookin' Forward,
Toby Walker
http://www.littletobywalker.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/tobywalker123
http://www.myspace.com/tobyblues
United States and Canadian Representation:
McShane Glover, Noteworthy Productions, Annapolis, MD
410 268 8232
http://www.mcnote.com
email - mcshane@mcnote.com
U.K representation:
John Adams john.adams@mail.com
Basingstoke, England
Cell: 07702 554 989
Office: 01256 461 224
Radio Promotion:
Lisa Grey
Blue River Promotions
Tel: 914-762-2976
lgrey@optonline.net
Toby Walker uses:
Huss and Dalton Guitars - http://www.hussanddalton.com/
National Reso-Phonic Guitars - http://www.nationalguitars.com/
D'Addario Strings - http://www.daddario.com
Rocky Mountain Slides - http://www.rockymountainslides.com/
Ultrasound Amplifiers - http://www.ultrasoundamps.com/
'Nough said. I think you can see why I love my job. It's also why I'm giving a leg up to all my WriteSpeak students and grads (some of whom are already getting letters like this themselves!). When you love what you do, and when you can do some good in the world, you've got a pretty good life. And you're doing the right thing. Good feeling.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
In case you're not on my mailing list..
Barbara Sher's Newsletter
Hi All!
The first part of this newsletter is about going places. The second is about coming home. Not about me coming home. Maybe about you coming home.
GOING PLACES
I'm getting ready to head out for the French Pyrenees, to meet my son and his family for Christmas and New Year's. While still jetlagged, I fully expect to be dodging my very dangerous 6 year-old, snowball-shooting grandson's missiles. (You'd think my son would protect me since it's his kid and all, but he just keeps laughing and taking movies.)
When I finally haul my carcass off the battlefield I'll grab a nap and then pick up my ongoing project of shifting a whole lot of my work to Europe. I'm setting up even more speaking gigs for myself -- I'm thinking Sweden, maybe Estonia, you know?
You can see the ones I'm already doing. I'm doing that partly for my 'half-the-year in the E.U.' plan for 2010, and partly, as always, to stay one step ahead of my WriteSpeak students (more about that in COMING HOME, below).
What started as a good excuse to spend more time with my overseas family has turned into something much bigger.
TWITTER GLOBAL NEW YEAR'S IDEA PARTY
The more I see my mission as saving as many geniuses as I can in my lifetime and making the world a better place by freeing up all that genius, the more I realize that none of it would be possible without the internet.
The Twitter Idea Party
So, when I get to my hotel and dust off the snow, as New Year's Eve approaches, I'm going to do another round of the Global Idea Party, like we did last March. I don't know who'll be joining me, but I'll be there (and I'll need you to join me, at least part of the time) and together we'll be heading through every time zone to ring in the new year by helping people make their dreams come true.
It won't combine with conference calling this time, because I won't have the crew working with me as I did last time. (They kind of threatened my life if I made them stay up all night again.) You can see the story at the Wishcraft 30th birthday celebration site. (Remind me to put a clip up on YouTube from my 'Idea Party Pledge Special' before December 31st, just to get you warmed up.)
SINCE I'LL BE IN FRANCE ANYWAY...
Whilst in France, we're also visiting the site for my next Scanner Retreat in April. It's an immaculate inn set in a medieval stone village that overlooks the Languedoc countryside. We found the place quite by accident, (here's that jolly story:) but we knew this was the right place as soon as we saw it. It can't be very well known yet because we've gotten a great group rate in fabulous rooms with breakfasts and gourmet dinners. It's kind of like a wonderful dream. And you'll be surrounded by Scanners, possibly the first time you'll be among people who understand who you are (read: who don't think you're flaky).
So, here's to the world. See as much of it as you can, because you never know which dreams you'll uncover. And make sure you get all the help you need to make them come true. I'll be here, so join the party, come to a Scanner Retreat and find your tribe! When you win, it's good for all of us!
And now...
COMING HOME
When I get back to New York I won't be lounging about either. January 16 will be the next (and only, for a long while) Part I Telephone Workshop for the WriteSpeak program. That's where you find out what your message is - or you begin to. Read on and you'll see what I'm talking about.
The teleworkshop is the prerequisite for WriteSpeak Part II, which is the Retreat on Feb 12-17, so if you haven't already taken it, you'd best sign up. If you want to come to the WriteSpeak retreat in New York in February, that is.
I know I ran a WriteSpeak retreat less than a month ago. I didn't plan to have another for a year or so. But there's a story here, too.
A few days before last November's retreat began, three of the nicest, smartest attendees had to drop out. They were very unhappy about that, but one had pneumonia (she was going to come anyway, but I swore I'd do everything in my power to hold a February retreat for her, so she stayed in bed. She is now fully recovered and holding me to my promise!). Two others were told subtly by their bosses that if they missed that particular Monday or Tuesday (whatever), they might not need to come back to work at all, ever. Choke. Naturally, I promised them I'd have a retreat in February, too.
So don't make a liar out of me. Help me find some wonderful people who know they should be writing and speaking but didn't know they could. Just show them the letters I got tonight from the grads of November's retreat. I can hardly read them without beaming and getting a tear in my eye, and that's not a figure of speech. I guess I'll just let them write the rest of this newsletter.
Barbara Sher's WriteSpeak Retreat was incredible. I'm not a coach, or a writer, and I thought I would be out of place. But this was just the place for me, because I want to be a speaker. I've always known that someday, some way, I would be a speaker - but I had no idea where or how to start. Barbara's retreat gave me exactly what I needed to get started. In addition to Barbara's help and inspiration, the support and camaraderie of all the wonderful people who participated is an amazing and powerful thing. Whatever you have to do to get there, do it! It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
And another:
Attending Barbara Sher's WriteSpeak retreat was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I was completely unclear about what my message was before attending - and completely clear and energized about it afterwards. It was fun, casual (I wore my pajamas) and extremely informative. I made new friends - and after 5 years of procrastinating, I finally started blogging. This was unlike any other workshop I've ever attended. Nothing held back, all questions answered and no upsells. It's chatting with Barbara in a living room. We drank coffee, we ate home-made biscuits and we laughed like crazy. If you're thinking about attending, don't hesitate. Sign up now. You'll love it.
and her man, Joe (I love the way that sounds) said:
It's OK for boys to come, too.
They're both hot as pistols and oh-so-ready for me to begin Part III. Take a look at their wonderful blogs and you'll see what I mean:
Patty's blog
Joe's blog
Here's the only other 'testimonial' I'll ask you to read. It's not short, but I don't want to cut a word of it. You'll see why:
Barbara, and the retreat she made, handed me my life's work. I seriously do not know how to thank her.
Coming to the WS retreat had no less a result than leading me nose-first right to my Thing. The Thing I have been looking for practically my entire adult life. My Thing, my Mission From God, you get the idea. And now that I've figured out the Thing, it answers so many questions I've always had about my whole reason for being.
I think it was two things that clinched it: first, the exercise of speaking to my Orphan. This pointed me right at what I would say to someone who reminded me of me. And me saying to Barbara after the exercise that there was something I was avoiding telling my orphan, because I didn't want to freak her out. And Barbara saying "That thing you didn't want to tell her? That was your message." At the time I didn't get it, but over the course of the retreat I came to see how exactly right this was.
The other was Barbara saying that there's something that every one of us has already spent the 'Malcolm Gladwell Required 10,000 hours' becoming an expert on. I understood, in the intellect, that my mission was somehow about helping my orphan, in all her guises. But I didn't really get this until lying in bed one night at the retreat, trying to stay awake and do my homework, and realizing: THIS is what I'm an expert on. This stuff is what I think about, what I write about, what I'm obsessed with. This is the mission. What I never got before was that my obsession with constructing my self would be the basis of my vocation. That my mission could be the result and the healing of this formative wound, made manifest. And that healing myself would be a natural by-product of helping others who remind me of me.
To sum up: the retreat helped me discover my Mission, which I knew was somewhere, but which I had struggled long and hard to find. I didn't know this would happen. I thought I was coming to learn about writing and speaking as a career, and that I would figure out what sort of thing I might be writing and speaking about later. I did not expect that I would leave the retreat having found my life's purpose. What I ended up with is the biggest, most valuable gift I have ever gotten from any kind of education in my whole life.
All this "mission" business aside - I would go anywhere to sit at Barbara's feet and soak up her smartness and laugh at her jokes. Because she is so funny and so real and so perceptive about what people need that just being in her presence is an education. I love her, and kind of want to marry her (Barbara, you should know that I make the best, most protein-y breakfasts in the world). But since she is unlikely to agree to this, I am happy to have her as the chairperson of my High Council of Jedi Knights, and unreservedly, strongly recommend that anyone who has a chance to study with her do it!
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT BY 'COMING HOME.' I DIDN'T MEAN ME, I MEANT YOU.
Nothing more to say. That's all you need to know to make up your mind to be there, or to uncork the mission of some stuck genius you value, who ought to be telling the world what he worked so hard to learn in life. That's an obligation you/they have. It's my most welcome obligation to show you how to do it.
With warmest, highest regard,
Barbara Sher
PS: here's your audio tip.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
WRITESPEAK PART I - TELEWORKSHOP JANUARY 16, 2010
WRITESPEAK PART II - 6-DAY RETREAT IN NEW YORK CITY, FEBRUARY 12 - 17
SCANNER 6-DAY RETREAT IN FRANCE, APRIL 6 - 11, 2010
Hi All!
The first part of this newsletter is about going places. The second is about coming home. Not about me coming home. Maybe about you coming home.
GOING PLACES
I'm getting ready to head out for the French Pyrenees, to meet my son and his family for Christmas and New Year's. While still jetlagged, I fully expect to be dodging my very dangerous 6 year-old, snowball-shooting grandson's missiles. (You'd think my son would protect me since it's his kid and all, but he just keeps laughing and taking movies.)
When I finally haul my carcass off the battlefield I'll grab a nap and then pick up my ongoing project of shifting a whole lot of my work to Europe. I'm setting up even more speaking gigs for myself -- I'm thinking Sweden, maybe Estonia, you know?
You can see the ones I'm already doing. I'm doing that partly for my 'half-the-year in the E.U.' plan for 2010, and partly, as always, to stay one step ahead of my WriteSpeak students (more about that in COMING HOME, below).
What started as a good excuse to spend more time with my overseas family has turned into something much bigger.
TWITTER GLOBAL NEW YEAR'S IDEA PARTY
The more I see my mission as saving as many geniuses as I can in my lifetime and making the world a better place by freeing up all that genius, the more I realize that none of it would be possible without the internet.
The Twitter Idea Party
So, when I get to my hotel and dust off the snow, as New Year's Eve approaches, I'm going to do another round of the Global Idea Party, like we did last March. I don't know who'll be joining me, but I'll be there (and I'll need you to join me, at least part of the time) and together we'll be heading through every time zone to ring in the new year by helping people make their dreams come true.
It won't combine with conference calling this time, because I won't have the crew working with me as I did last time. (They kind of threatened my life if I made them stay up all night again.) You can see the story at the Wishcraft 30th birthday celebration site. (Remind me to put a clip up on YouTube from my 'Idea Party Pledge Special' before December 31st, just to get you warmed up.)
SINCE I'LL BE IN FRANCE ANYWAY...
Whilst in France, we're also visiting the site for my next Scanner Retreat in April. It's an immaculate inn set in a medieval stone village that overlooks the Languedoc countryside. We found the place quite by accident, (here's that jolly story:
So, here's to the world. See as much of it as you can, because you never know which dreams you'll uncover. And make sure you get all the help you need to make them come true. I'll be here, so join the party, come to a Scanner Retreat and find your tribe! When you win, it's good for all of us!
And now...
COMING HOME
When I get back to New York I won't be lounging about either. January 16 will be the next (and only, for a long while) Part I Telephone Workshop for the WriteSpeak program. That's where you find out what your message is - or you begin to. Read on and you'll see what I'm talking about.
The teleworkshop is the prerequisite for WriteSpeak Part II, which is the Retreat on Feb 12-17, so if you haven't already taken it, you'd best sign up. If you want to come to the WriteSpeak retreat in New York in February, that is.
I know I ran a WriteSpeak retreat less than a month ago. I didn't plan to have another for a year or so. But there's a story here, too.
A few days before last November's retreat began, three of the nicest, smartest attendees had to drop out. They were very unhappy about that, but one had pneumonia (she was going to come anyway, but I swore I'd do everything in my power to hold a February retreat for her, so she stayed in bed. She is now fully recovered and holding me to my promise!). Two others were told subtly by their bosses that if they missed that particular Monday or Tuesday (whatever), they might not need to come back to work at all, ever. Choke. Naturally, I promised them I'd have a retreat in February, too.
So don't make a liar out of me. Help me find some wonderful people who know they should be writing and speaking but didn't know they could. Just show them the letters I got tonight from the grads of November's retreat. I can hardly read them without beaming and getting a tear in my eye, and that's not a figure of speech. I guess I'll just let them write the rest of this newsletter.
Barbara Sher's WriteSpeak Retreat was incredible. I'm not a coach, or a writer, and I thought I would be out of place. But this was just the place for me, because I want to be a speaker. I've always known that someday, some way, I would be a speaker - but I had no idea where or how to start. Barbara's retreat gave me exactly what I needed to get started. In addition to Barbara's help and inspiration, the support and camaraderie of all the wonderful people who participated is an amazing and powerful thing. Whatever you have to do to get there, do it! It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
And another:
Attending Barbara Sher's WriteSpeak retreat was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I was completely unclear about what my message was before attending - and completely clear and energized about it afterwards. It was fun, casual (I wore my pajamas) and extremely informative. I made new friends - and after 5 years of procrastinating, I finally started blogging. This was unlike any other workshop I've ever attended. Nothing held back, all questions answered and no upsells. It's chatting with Barbara in a living room. We drank coffee, we ate home-made biscuits and we laughed like crazy. If you're thinking about attending, don't hesitate. Sign up now. You'll love it.
and her man, Joe (I love the way that sounds) said:
It's OK for boys to come, too.
They're both hot as pistols and oh-so-ready for me to begin Part III. Take a look at their wonderful blogs and you'll see what I mean:
Patty's blog
Joe's blog
Here's the only other 'testimonial' I'll ask you to read. It's not short, but I don't want to cut a word of it. You'll see why:
Barbara, and the retreat she made, handed me my life's work. I seriously do not know how to thank her.
Coming to the WS retreat had no less a result than leading me nose-first right to my Thing. The Thing I have been looking for practically my entire adult life. My Thing, my Mission From God, you get the idea. And now that I've figured out the Thing, it answers so many questions I've always had about my whole reason for being.
I think it was two things that clinched it: first, the exercise of speaking to my Orphan. This pointed me right at what I would say to someone who reminded me of me. And me saying to Barbara after the exercise that there was something I was avoiding telling my orphan, because I didn't want to freak her out. And Barbara saying "That thing you didn't want to tell her? That was your message." At the time I didn't get it, but over the course of the retreat I came to see how exactly right this was.
The other was Barbara saying that there's something that every one of us has already spent the 'Malcolm Gladwell Required 10,000 hours' becoming an expert on. I understood, in the intellect, that my mission was somehow about helping my orphan, in all her guises. But I didn't really get this until lying in bed one night at the retreat, trying to stay awake and do my homework, and realizing: THIS is what I'm an expert on. This stuff is what I think about, what I write about, what I'm obsessed with. This is the mission. What I never got before was that my obsession with constructing my self would be the basis of my vocation. That my mission could be the result and the healing of this formative wound, made manifest. And that healing myself would be a natural by-product of helping others who remind me of me.
To sum up: the retreat helped me discover my Mission, which I knew was somewhere, but which I had struggled long and hard to find. I didn't know this would happen. I thought I was coming to learn about writing and speaking as a career, and that I would figure out what sort of thing I might be writing and speaking about later. I did not expect that I would leave the retreat having found my life's purpose. What I ended up with is the biggest, most valuable gift I have ever gotten from any kind of education in my whole life.
All this "mission" business aside - I would go anywhere to sit at Barbara's feet and soak up her smartness and laugh at her jokes. Because she is so funny and so real and so perceptive about what people need that just being in her presence is an education. I love her, and kind of want to marry her (Barbara, you should know that I make the best, most protein-y breakfasts in the world). But since she is unlikely to agree to this, I am happy to have her as the chairperson of my High Council of Jedi Knights, and unreservedly, strongly recommend that anyone who has a chance to study with her do it!
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT BY 'COMING HOME.' I DIDN'T MEAN ME, I MEANT YOU.
Nothing more to say. That's all you need to know to make up your mind to be there, or to uncork the mission of some stuck genius you value, who ought to be telling the world what he worked so hard to learn in life. That's an obligation you/they have. It's my most welcome obligation to show you how to do it.
With warmest, highest regard,
Barbara Sher
PS: here's your audio tip.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
WRITESPEAK PART I - TELEWORKSHOP JANUARY 16, 2010
WRITESPEAK PART II - 6-DAY RETREAT IN NEW YORK CITY, FEBRUARY 12 - 17
SCANNER 6-DAY RETREAT IN FRANCE, APRIL 6 - 11, 2010
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I like to comment on blogs or Why Don't You Start a Speaker's Bureau
Google Alerts tells me that one of my books was mentioned on someone's blog, so, before getting down to other work, I take a look and leave a comment. I think that's a pretty good practice for people like me and it's one of the assignments I give to students in my WriteSpeak classes, so I usually attempt to do it at least once a day.
As usual, I waxed prolix, so after tweeting the URL so others will look at the nice blog (as a courtesy to the blogger, who is trying to find some kind of business to start) I have adapted my comment and 'repurposed' it as a post on the Life of a WriterSpeaker. (It bothers me when a word I don't like is the best word to use, but 'repurposed' wins today.)
I'm pretty sure it won't be of much use to the person who has the blog, to be honest. I think they want to sell sporting goods. But, hey, we do what we can.
Ah, but now I must first tell one of my dad's favorite jokes, since I see that what I've done is a perfect example of it:
It's nighttime and a man walking down the street sees another man searching for something at the foot of a streetlight. The first man tries to help with the search and asks, 'What did you lose?'
'I lost a quarter,' says the searcher.
'Oh. Where did you drop it?'
'Over there, in that dark alley.'
'But that's 30 feet away!' says the first man. 'Why are you searching here?'
'Because,' says the searcher, 'this is where the light is.'
MY COMMENT TO THE BLOGGER:
Thanks for including I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, as well as the other book I'm familiar with (and like very much), Barbara Winter's Making a Living Without a Job. I think we both come from the same place regarding starting your own business: keep it small and creative, if you've got money, don't risk it.
I never had much capital to invest and banks weren't interested in single moms with 2 little kids and miniscule child support, for which I can only thank them. Smith and Hawken authored a book I read some years ago, don't have it now so I hope I'm getting that 'Smith' part right, but it said loud and clear, 'Don't borrow money.' Their idea is that you develop your wits by relying on ingenuity.
I agree with another comment that every startup takes a huge amount of work which is one reason I advise basing a business on something you enjoy doing. The other reason is that, if you love something, you're probably gifted at it. That means you have a fine chance of standing out from the crowd and will benefit greatly by rattling some pots and pans to let the world know you exist. (Like having a blog, and commenting on other people's blog).
For my part, I always loved service businesses. No overhead, no inventory to speak of, and if the motor sputters out while you're flying, you can land anywhere, gas up cheaply and take off again. If I didn't know which services I could provide, or didn't want to provide any, I'd ask people to give me some specific ideas. On that premise, I shall give you one specific idea:
This morning, in your position, I believe I'd start a speaker's bureau of some new and fabulous kind, hitherto unheard of. (I have no idea what that would be, but if I needed ideas, I'd head right over to my bulletin board (www.barbarasher.com/boards), go into the Wishes and Obstacles forum and open a new topic with this:
"Wish: to start a speakers bureau of some new and fabulous kind, hitherto unheard of.
Obstacle: Can't imagine what that would be."
Thousands of Sherboarders might see your wish and obstacle, hundreds might jump in to answer it. People love to help people on the Internet (as evidenced in the thoughtful comments you're getting here) and the people on my boards are very smart and generous.
I'd also go to #IdeaParty on Twitter, and ask the same thing (shortening the words 'Wish' and 'Obstacle' to their first initials to save space). #IdeaParty brainstorming is hottest on Thursdays, but it's always open and, after a little wait, you'll get, umm, a few more people than my bulletin board can provide (like a couple million), some of whom might be curious enough to scare up some interesting information for you.
Then, if I were you, I'd head over to HARO (HelpAReporter.com) to see if I could find some speakers to interview and I'd return the favor by helping to publicize them on a blog. They'll tell you what they need, what they're not getting, what they wish was available.
(I might wait until I was launched before sharing *all* my new information with the world, but then I might write a book and call it 'How We Started A Speakers Bureau and Made A Fortune.' :-) No one in any of my classes has ever picked that subject so the field might be wide open. :-)
For more information, you might search google for 'motivational speakers' which will take you to loads of websites. Once there, find out who one would contact in order to book them, and then find the website of that bureau. See how they operate, who they handle, where they brag about placing their speakers.
You might want to book speakers at teh same places, focusing on on the spillover, the really great speakers who don't often get hired by big corporations. Established bureaus aren't usually interested in such people. (Another reason I love tiny businesses with low operating costs: you can get fat on what falls off the big boys' tables>)
Or you might want to handle the whole structure differently, in some original, hitherto unimagined manner, such as a co-op, or a wiki (I don't really know how that would work, actually) or some model that isn't the same old lemonade stand. (A great place to get unexpected ideas is Springwise.com (New business ideas spotted around the world). In fact, I think Springwise itself is a great model for a speakers' bureau (Unusual speakers spotted around the world). Like, um, those free bicycles in Amsterdam - you take one and ride it to where you're going and leave it there and someone else takes it from there. (I'm getting a picture of two or three speakers standing by a bicycle rack. Not good, but I'm sure you can do better.)
Back to the real world: for informational interviewing, I'd contact college and university booking agents. They're usually students and often very willing to share their information about (or complaints with) speakers bureaus.
On the other hand, it kind of looks like you might want to sell sporting goods and if so, disregard every word I've said. I like to come up with micro-business ideas after my morning whopping cup of strong coffee, just to use up the extra caffeine.
In case anyone who reads this comment cares, I find big businesses to be mostly a bad influence on our world, and pushcart or kitchen-table businesses to be the delightful, creative heart and soul of it. I'm pretty sure you want to start a small business, so, whatever you do, I wish you all the luck in the world.
As usual, I waxed prolix, so after tweeting the URL so others will look at the nice blog (as a courtesy to the blogger, who is trying to find some kind of business to start) I have adapted my comment and 'repurposed' it as a post on the Life of a WriterSpeaker. (It bothers me when a word I don't like is the best word to use, but 'repurposed' wins today.)
I'm pretty sure it won't be of much use to the person who has the blog, to be honest. I think they want to sell sporting goods. But, hey, we do what we can.
Ah, but now I must first tell one of my dad's favorite jokes, since I see that what I've done is a perfect example of it:
It's nighttime and a man walking down the street sees another man searching for something at the foot of a streetlight. The first man tries to help with the search and asks, 'What did you lose?'
'I lost a quarter,' says the searcher.
'Oh. Where did you drop it?'
'Over there, in that dark alley.'
'But that's 30 feet away!' says the first man. 'Why are you searching here?'
'Because,' says the searcher, 'this is where the light is.'
MY COMMENT TO THE BLOGGER:
Thanks for including I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was, as well as the other book I'm familiar with (and like very much), Barbara Winter's Making a Living Without a Job. I think we both come from the same place regarding starting your own business: keep it small and creative, if you've got money, don't risk it.
I never had much capital to invest and banks weren't interested in single moms with 2 little kids and miniscule child support, for which I can only thank them. Smith and Hawken authored a book I read some years ago, don't have it now so I hope I'm getting that 'Smith' part right, but it said loud and clear, 'Don't borrow money.' Their idea is that you develop your wits by relying on ingenuity.
I agree with another comment that every startup takes a huge amount of work which is one reason I advise basing a business on something you enjoy doing. The other reason is that, if you love something, you're probably gifted at it. That means you have a fine chance of standing out from the crowd and will benefit greatly by rattling some pots and pans to let the world know you exist. (Like having a blog, and commenting on other people's blog).
For my part, I always loved service businesses. No overhead, no inventory to speak of, and if the motor sputters out while you're flying, you can land anywhere, gas up cheaply and take off again. If I didn't know which services I could provide, or didn't want to provide any, I'd ask people to give me some specific ideas. On that premise, I shall give you one specific idea:
This morning, in your position, I believe I'd start a speaker's bureau of some new and fabulous kind, hitherto unheard of. (I have no idea what that would be, but if I needed ideas, I'd head right over to my bulletin board (www.barbarasher.com/boards), go into the Wishes and Obstacles forum and open a new topic with this:
"Wish: to start a speakers bureau of some new and fabulous kind, hitherto unheard of.
Obstacle: Can't imagine what that would be."
Thousands of Sherboarders might see your wish and obstacle, hundreds might jump in to answer it. People love to help people on the Internet (as evidenced in the thoughtful comments you're getting here) and the people on my boards are very smart and generous.
I'd also go to #IdeaParty on Twitter, and ask the same thing (shortening the words 'Wish' and 'Obstacle' to their first initials to save space). #IdeaParty brainstorming is hottest on Thursdays, but it's always open and, after a little wait, you'll get, umm, a few more people than my bulletin board can provide (like a couple million), some of whom might be curious enough to scare up some interesting information for you.
Then, if I were you, I'd head over to HARO (HelpAReporter.com) to see if I could find some speakers to interview and I'd return the favor by helping to publicize them on a blog. They'll tell you what they need, what they're not getting, what they wish was available.
(I might wait until I was launched before sharing *all* my new information with the world, but then I might write a book and call it 'How We Started A Speakers Bureau and Made A Fortune.' :-) No one in any of my classes has ever picked that subject so the field might be wide open. :-)
For more information, you might search google for 'motivational speakers' which will take you to loads of websites. Once there, find out who one would contact in order to book them, and then find the website of that bureau. See how they operate, who they handle, where they brag about placing their speakers.
You might want to book speakers at teh same places, focusing on on the spillover, the really great speakers who don't often get hired by big corporations. Established bureaus aren't usually interested in such people. (Another reason I love tiny businesses with low operating costs: you can get fat on what falls off the big boys' tables>)
Or you might want to handle the whole structure differently, in some original, hitherto unimagined manner, such as a co-op, or a wiki (I don't really know how that would work, actually) or some model that isn't the same old lemonade stand. (A great place to get unexpected ideas is Springwise.com (New business ideas spotted around the world). In fact, I think Springwise itself is a great model for a speakers' bureau (Unusual speakers spotted around the world). Like, um, those free bicycles in Amsterdam - you take one and ride it to where you're going and leave it there and someone else takes it from there. (I'm getting a picture of two or three speakers standing by a bicycle rack. Not good, but I'm sure you can do better.)
Back to the real world: for informational interviewing, I'd contact college and university booking agents. They're usually students and often very willing to share their information about (or complaints with) speakers bureaus.
On the other hand, it kind of looks like you might want to sell sporting goods and if so, disregard every word I've said. I like to come up with micro-business ideas after my morning whopping cup of strong coffee, just to use up the extra caffeine.
In case anyone who reads this comment cares, I find big businesses to be mostly a bad influence on our world, and pushcart or kitchen-table businesses to be the delightful, creative heart and soul of it. I'm pretty sure you want to start a small business, so, whatever you do, I wish you all the luck in the world.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
WISHCRAFT'S 30th BIRTHDAY BASH - THE GLOBAL TWIP
We put up a special website for it at http://www.barbarasherwishcraft.com/ and you'll find many letters there and entries on (yet another of my) blogs at that site.
There's even a cute pdf eBook that will show you some of the wonderful things that happened and give you a sense of the excitement. I've updated it slightly so you can visit it again without me being embarrassed. I've included that with a bit more detail here:
***********************************************************
The 24-hour Global Twitter Idea Party happened last March and was exhilarating and exhausting. We launched one dream after another as we systematically moved through every time zone on the planet, engaging the services of superb hard-working volunteers including Success Team leaders with multi-language skills.
(There's a terrific free PDF eBook about the whole thing on the home page at www.barbarasherwishcaft.com that includes a nice example of a dream launch. (You'd better copy and paste that URL. It's got an illogical spelling hidden in there. I did it on purpose, for reasons not interesting enough to explain here, but if you're dying of curiosity, you know where to find me: @BarbaraSher on Twitter)
Where was I?
I really want to do another TWIP in 2010, I'm thinking New Year's Eve and into the next day, 24 hours like before, but my assistant (who organized the whole thing) has threatened to quit and the many wonderful people who pitched in to make it happen aren't answering my calls, so, you know, it's not definite.
It was a production, I admit. It included teleconferencing for the whole 24 hours to accommodate people who didn't have computers, as well as tweeting like lunatics for people who only had computers, which meant we were darting between messages so everyone knew what everyone else was saying at all times. Someone would call in to ask for help getting a new job in Kansas, their message would be heard by all teleconferencers including the TWIP person in charge of Twitter online -- but to make sure she heard it, the helper in charge of telephones would shout it out to her on a private line -- and he or she would frantically type it in and wait for responses (and oh boy did we get responses).
Then the Twitterer would shout out the responses to the teleconferencer -- or did we tweet it so the telephone person read it -- who can remember these things?
Anyway, it should have been a disaster. Instead, it was a triumph.
Everybody was having a ball. It was the best party ever, I'm sure of it, so it seems very sensible to do it on New Year's Eve.
But apparently people do other stuff that night. I've never understood that.
For now, you can be part of the ongoing TWIP by searching Twitter for#ideaparty. Tell us your wishes and obstacles and we'll try to make your dreams come true. We're not bad at it, and it's free. The big problem is that everyone wants to solve problems but not enough people are asking for help, so be a mensch and go ask for something. Why would you not do that?
***********************************************************
Go take a look at www.barbarasherwishcraft.com if you're of a mind. I tell some pretty good true stories of my beginnings as a writer/speaker in the blog there and my heroes (aka my readers) have told their stories, way more interesting, under 'Love Letters.'
If you've ever wanted my job, and I hope lots of you have because I'm happy to help you get it, their stories will show you how right you are.
There's even a cute pdf eBook that will show you some of the wonderful things that happened and give you a sense of the excitement. I've updated it slightly so you can visit it again without me being embarrassed. I've included that with a bit more detail here:
***********************************************************
The 24-hour Global Twitter Idea Party happened last March and was exhilarating and exhausting. We launched one dream after another as we systematically moved through every time zone on the planet, engaging the services of superb hard-working volunteers including Success Team leaders with multi-language skills.
(There's a terrific free PDF eBook about the whole thing on the home page at www.barbarasherwishcaft.com that includes a nice example of a dream launch. (You'd better copy and paste that URL. It's got an illogical spelling hidden in there. I did it on purpose, for reasons not interesting enough to explain here, but if you're dying of curiosity, you know where to find me: @BarbaraSher on Twitter)
Where was I?
I really want to do another TWIP in 2010, I'm thinking New Year's Eve and into the next day, 24 hours like before, but my assistant (who organized the whole thing) has threatened to quit and the many wonderful people who pitched in to make it happen aren't answering my calls, so, you know, it's not definite.
It was a production, I admit. It included teleconferencing for the whole 24 hours to accommodate people who didn't have computers, as well as tweeting like lunatics for people who only had computers, which meant we were darting between messages so everyone knew what everyone else was saying at all times. Someone would call in to ask for help getting a new job in Kansas, their message would be heard by all teleconferencers including the TWIP person in charge of Twitter online -- but to make sure she heard it, the helper in charge of telephones would shout it out to her on a private line -- and he or she would frantically type it in and wait for responses (and oh boy did we get responses).
Then the Twitterer would shout out the responses to the teleconferencer -- or did we tweet it so the telephone person read it -- who can remember these things?
Anyway, it should have been a disaster. Instead, it was a triumph.
Everybody was having a ball. It was the best party ever, I'm sure of it, so it seems very sensible to do it on New Year's Eve.
But apparently people do other stuff that night. I've never understood that.
For now, you can be part of the ongoing TWIP by searching Twitter for#ideaparty. Tell us your wishes and obstacles and we'll try to make your dreams come true. We're not bad at it, and it's free. The big problem is that everyone wants to solve problems but not enough people are asking for help, so be a mensch and go ask for something. Why would you not do that?
***********************************************************
Go take a look at www.barbarasherwishcraft.com if you're of a mind. I tell some pretty good true stories of my beginnings as a writer/speaker in the blog there and my heroes (aka my readers) have told their stories, way more interesting, under 'Love Letters.'
If you've ever wanted my job, and I hope lots of you have because I'm happy to help you get it, their stories will show you how right you are.
Friday, October 30, 2009
HOW I GOT STARTED
I'm moving some earlier posts from another of (my many) sites (www.barbarasherwishcraft.com) to this blog
1) because beginnings are relevant when one speaks of the life of a WriterSpeaker, and
2) the other site is about the Global Twitter Idea Party we did last March and it needs updating and... um .. it's on my list. Definitely.
so here it is with few changes:
"There are no self-made people"
02/05/2009
10 Comments
Tonight I’m continuing to assemble all the various Wishcraft papers I’ve been gathering in preparation for 2009 and just came across I had forgotten: the original Success Teams workbook that goes with the original 12-hour workshop, the workshop that turned into Wishcraft.
I've been planning to do a special workshop for Wishcraft’s 30th year in print, and had in mind a 3-day virtual program, which I figured I'd design one of these days...maybe go through the book and pull out some highlights, I wasn't quite sure.
But looking through this workbook that I'd typed on 3-hole sheets of paper on my used red (gorgeous) IBM Selectric 33 years ago made me realize that I didn't have to pull anything out of Wishcraft because the book came directly from the workshop. All the words had been recorded on audio cassettes, all the charts were on blackboards, everything had moved straight from that workshop into the book, with very few changes. Not only don't I have to design anything new, this is the right workshop to celebrate Wishcraft's 30th year in print.
This last remaining copy, about 40 sheets of paper, is in a paper folder with a transparent front. As I turned the pages, it brought back so many memories. I remembered the year I developed the workshop so carefully, using storyboards and stick figures to choreograph what would happen -- when I’d speak, and when people would work in groups, and when they’d raise their hands for questions and when they’d stand up and walk up to each other in the high-speed brainstorming game.
That reminded me that even before the storyboard I had run a pilot Success Team at someone's home (who was that?) to see if Success Teams really worked, and to figure out how to get everyone to find a goal they cared about, and suss out a plan and the right timing for taking steps, and then to try out what to do when resistance raised its head and panic set in (like finding the elements and the right words to make everyone feel safe and brave enough to actually go after a dream).
Nothing could do all that but actually running a real team. And we did. I'll see if I described what happened and move it here one of these days. It's a bag of stories all on its own. (I can feel a faint smile on my face as I write these words.) But it will have to wait. Remind me.
(And before that, there was the therapy group with 'Ronnie.' That's really where the idea of Success Teams started. I promise to tell that story on this blog very soon.) (Honest.)
I also remember how I sat on the floor of my living room, pounding away on my red Selectric typewriter while my kids and the dogs were playing Let’s Be Boys and leaping over me, the phone was ringing, the dishes were waiting in the sink.
In the middle of that chaos, writing up the workbook I planned to hand out (if I could get anyone to attend the workshop) four wonderful little thoughts popped into my mind, and I wrote them down on their own blank pages, each one to introduce a different section of the workbook.
Here they are. They weren’t used in Wishcraft (I never imagined there would ever be a book) so I almost forgot them. But I remember writing them now. They’re a little awkward but I haven’t changed my mind about what they say:
1. INTRODUCTION (pg 1)
If your life isn’t all you wanted
you can blame yourself,
blame circumstance,
or get all the help you need and change it.
2. SELF-IMAGE AND RESOURCE SEARCH (pg 4)
Genius is that combination of unique gifts,
that universe inside each of us which, when it
is respected and nurtured by our environment
and trusted by ourselves, gives rise to a life
that is a work of art.
3. TIME MANAGEMENT (pg 21)
Energy: The only path that will truly absorb you is
your own path. It will generate all the creative energy
you will ever need. If you lack that energy
you have not found your purpose. It is your duty
to yourself – to your one life – that you find your
path and follow it.
4. THE USE OF OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE
Support: There are no self-made people. Behind each
person who has realized her or his potential, you find
a string of crucially placed individuals who believed
in the person, encouraged and aided her or him and
helped smooth the way. Assuming that you should have
made it on your own by now with no support is de-
bilitating and unrealistic.
....................
I'll write more tomorrow as I continue to sort through all these archives sitting on my shelves.
1) because beginnings are relevant when one speaks of the life of a WriterSpeaker, and
2) the other site is about the Global Twitter Idea Party we did last March and it needs updating and... um .. it's on my list. Definitely.
so here it is with few changes:
"There are no self-made people"
02/05/2009
10 Comments
Tonight I’m continuing to assemble all the various Wishcraft papers I’ve been gathering in preparation for 2009 and just came across I had forgotten: the original Success Teams workbook that goes with the original 12-hour workshop, the workshop that turned into Wishcraft.
I've been planning to do a special workshop for Wishcraft’s 30th year in print, and had in mind a 3-day virtual program, which I figured I'd design one of these days...maybe go through the book and pull out some highlights, I wasn't quite sure.
But looking through this workbook that I'd typed on 3-hole sheets of paper on my used red (gorgeous) IBM Selectric 33 years ago made me realize that I didn't have to pull anything out of Wishcraft because the book came directly from the workshop. All the words had been recorded on audio cassettes, all the charts were on blackboards, everything had moved straight from that workshop into the book, with very few changes. Not only don't I have to design anything new, this is the right workshop to celebrate Wishcraft's 30th year in print.
This last remaining copy, about 40 sheets of paper, is in a paper folder with a transparent front. As I turned the pages, it brought back so many memories. I remembered the year I developed the workshop so carefully, using storyboards and stick figures to choreograph what would happen -- when I’d speak, and when people would work in groups, and when they’d raise their hands for questions and when they’d stand up and walk up to each other in the high-speed brainstorming game.
That reminded me that even before the storyboard I had run a pilot Success Team at someone's home (who was that?) to see if Success Teams really worked, and to figure out how to get everyone to find a goal they cared about, and suss out a plan and the right timing for taking steps, and then to try out what to do when resistance raised its head and panic set in (like finding the elements and the right words to make everyone feel safe and brave enough to actually go after a dream).
Nothing could do all that but actually running a real team. And we did. I'll see if I described what happened and move it here one of these days. It's a bag of stories all on its own. (I can feel a faint smile on my face as I write these words.) But it will have to wait. Remind me.
(And before that, there was the therapy group with 'Ronnie.' That's really where the idea of Success Teams started. I promise to tell that story on this blog very soon.) (Honest.)
I also remember how I sat on the floor of my living room, pounding away on my red Selectric typewriter while my kids and the dogs were playing Let’s Be Boys and leaping over me, the phone was ringing, the dishes were waiting in the sink.
In the middle of that chaos, writing up the workbook I planned to hand out (if I could get anyone to attend the workshop) four wonderful little thoughts popped into my mind, and I wrote them down on their own blank pages, each one to introduce a different section of the workbook.
Here they are. They weren’t used in Wishcraft (I never imagined there would ever be a book) so I almost forgot them. But I remember writing them now. They’re a little awkward but I haven’t changed my mind about what they say:
1. INTRODUCTION (pg 1)
If your life isn’t all you wanted
you can blame yourself,
blame circumstance,
or get all the help you need and change it.
2. SELF-IMAGE AND RESOURCE SEARCH (pg 4)
Genius is that combination of unique gifts,
that universe inside each of us which, when it
is respected and nurtured by our environment
and trusted by ourselves, gives rise to a life
that is a work of art.
3. TIME MANAGEMENT (pg 21)
Energy: The only path that will truly absorb you is
your own path. It will generate all the creative energy
you will ever need. If you lack that energy
you have not found your purpose. It is your duty
to yourself – to your one life – that you find your
path and follow it.
4. THE USE OF OTHERS IN YOUR LIFE
Support: There are no self-made people. Behind each
person who has realized her or his potential, you find
a string of crucially placed individuals who believed
in the person, encouraged and aided her or him and
helped smooth the way. Assuming that you should have
made it on your own by now with no support is de-
bilitating and unrealistic.
....................
I'll write more tomorrow as I continue to sort through all these archives sitting on my shelves.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
FORGET POSITIVE THINKING - ISOLATION IS THE DREAMKILLER, NOT YOUR ATTITUDE
From the transcript of my appearance on Sandra Schubert's BlogTalkRadio show on May 5, 2009 (Part 1). Click here to listen to a recording of the interview.
Sandra: Barbara Sher is a NYT bestselling author who's been on major shows such as Oprah and the Today Show, with many of her books. The first one, Wishcraft, which has never been out of print since it was first published in 1979, celebrated the 30th anniversary of its publication on March 25th. To celebrate the 30th anniversary, Barbara used Twitter as it's never been used before: a 24-hour networking party where thousands of fans from all over the world joined her in her mission to make sure that [each and every one] achieve their dreams, find jobs, begin new careers, start their own businesses. You can see some of this on Twitter by going to Twitter and typing #Ideaparty. You can find everything you need to know at the special website she set up for this 30th anniversary event [www.Barbarasherwishcraft.com].
I'm delighted to have Barbara on the show today.
Hi Barbara. It's so good to have you on and to celebrate your book. 30 years, that's amazing.
B: Yes, it is. Believe me, I'm much more surprised than you are that so much time has passed!
S: Tell us what WISHCRAFT is all about.
B: Sure. First, let me explain where it came from, because I never really intended to be a writer. Everybody works hard to write a book and get it published. I had no notion I could ever do a thing like that. It all began because in 1967 I was in therapy groups with a very unconventional psychiatrist. He had adapted the techniques from a drug program, where they had invented some kind of scream, holler, attack, take no prisoners therapy.
He hired me after I'd been in those groups for a while, and I ran them very happily (it seemed normal to me that everybody would scream at each other - that was my Dad's hobby, and I gave as good as I took).
I won't tell the whole story here, but it's on the BarbaraSherWishcraft.com website. The short version is that one of the groups turned into a team that was helping someone fulfill a dream. Week after week I noticed that not only did they help this person, but they also started acting in a new way: they stopped being fussy and self-centered, they seemed less neurotic. And I thought, "Hello! I think I've stumbled on the secret to motivation."
It turned out that my hunch was right. Success turned out to be unrelated to positive thinking. I'd tried all that--never worked for me and apparently it doesn't work for a lot of us. At best, it just isn't strong enough. But worse, it promotes the notion that you can change the world by thinking differently. I don't understand how pretending you have that kind of power is about reality. It makes me uneasy.
And worse yet, if you couldn't manage to maintain a positive attitude, you felt like the worst kind of failure, the kind who brings all the hard luck on yourself. That's not fair, and it doesn't make any sense. Putting on a happy face was the exact opposite of what we worked on in those groups. Everyone was learning how to understand their feelings, how to be emotionally authentic. When you knew what you were really feeling, your life became so clear and you knew what you wanted and what you didn't want. The whole idea of pretending you were happy because that would somehow make things better seemed like the worst thing you could possibly do. Like throwing away your compass when you were lost.
What would work? From what I could see, if you come together every week like this group was doing, and you promise to take a step, and everybody wants you to succeed and is willing to help you, then you can come in each time having taken another step. The combination of support, the structure of regular meetings, and the accountability involved (you had chosen some 'homework,' and everyone was waiting each week to see how it went) was better than any motivator I'd ever seen.
And then I realized it was just like going to school: you have to show up, and you have to do your homework. That's the deal. How many of us would have gotten through school without that?
Now I wanted to see if we could put our dreams on that list of things we have to do. Instead of being required to do what the world wanted, how about being required to do what *we* wanted?
For over a year I tried this out on every member of the group, and in other groups as well, and it worked! So, I decided I was going to change the world by showing everyone how to go after their dreams, just as all of us had done. I designed a 12-hour workshop (it took me a long time because I was a single parent with 2 tiny children, 2 jobs, and I'm not very orderly on my best day!) But I carefully designed this workshop using storyboards for every action, and then I ran it for all my friends and everybody loved it. It didn't make any money--lost money, actually. But I asked everyone to bring anyone they knew who worked for a magazine or was on the radio--because I knew I had no money to advertise anywhere.
They were like my team: they brought in one freelance writer or columnist after another, and one day an editor from the New York Times came in and she followed a team and wrote up a story in the New York Times. I got calls from five different agents the next day, saying "would you like to write a book?"
So I was all excited, and I picked an agent and started banging away at this book. I came up with 400 pages somehow. I turned it in, and the agent said, "This isn't how you talk."
That was a revelation. It forever changed the way I write my books, and it's at the core of my 'WriteSpeak' classes. [http://www.writeyourownsuccessstory.com]
I had taped everything I said in the 12-hour workshop and I gave all the cassettes (10 workshops worth!) to one of the freelance writers who'd written a good article about the workshop. She organized and polished the material, and it turned into Wishcraft! Every hour I'd designed for the workshop became a chapter in the book.
When I handed in that manuscript, they liked it and suddenly I had a book. I was a published author.
S: That's an amazing story. So, what do you think the staying power of Wishcraft is? It sounds like you're the forerunner for the law of attraction in some way.
B: Yes and no. The truth of the matter is that I'm at polar opposites with anyone who either believes that it's good to have a positive attitude, or that you can draw things toward you by some sort of energy. I just don't go for that. A lot of people do, and if it works for them, great. But I don't. I'm so serious about this, that I wrote a cartoon booklet once called "How to get what you want, even if you have no goals, no character, and you're often in a lousy mood."
Because all this stuff about "I love myself, I can do it!"--I always knew it didn't work. When I was in college (I have A.D.D., I know that now) I had to study so hard to get a decent grade on an exam...and if they moved the exam one day, I'd flunk it. I'd walk into these exams feeling great, thinking, "I can do this," and next to me would be these sorority girls, saying, "Oh my god, I'm gonna flunk," and they'd come out with an A, and I'd get a B. So I thought, "Well so much for positive thinking."
That's when I figured out what makes us do things that are hard to do: it isn't the Law of Attraction, which I don't understand anyway. You know, I'm not a scientist, but I have a profound respect for science. And when I see something universal, something that's happening to everyone, I think, "This is Darwin, let's find out what's going on."
So I asked myself, "How do people manage to go to work, to raise children without a positive attitude or loving themselves or attracting anything?" Now maybe you can attract things, I don't know, but you can also attract the flu and flat tires. I never depend on the universe. It seems to have its own agenda.
And then I realized you have to show up at work or you'll get fired, you have to do your homework or you'll flunk, and you have to feed the kids or they'll tell the neighbors. I thought, "Wow, look at that," and that's when I came up with the idea of Success Teams, which is a place where 6 people get together, they meet once a week, and the only goal of the team is to make sure that every single member gets whatever they want.
We're all told to take a little step at a time, but for some psychological reason it's still very hard to do. We look at the size of the task to be done, and we're overwhelmed. At least, that's what we do when we're alone. No amount of positive thinking can help that, partly because no mood lasts as long as a big project. But it's worse than that: for one thing, no one can do it, so sooner or later you always fail; and now you've failed at two things: you haven't gotten your dream and you can't maintain a positive attitude. You never blame the people who taught you, you blame yourself. That makes me angry, I have to be honest. It's one of my missions to debunk that Positive Thinking philosophy whereever I see it because it's really terrible to blame yourself. It's like you've been handed a bad map and you blame yourself for not arriving at your destination.
But what bothers me even more is that, most of the time, believing in positive thinking is the same as believing you can do it on your own. All you need is the right attitude.
So my slogan, and I repeat it over and over, is this:
Isolation is the Dreamkiller, not your lousy attitude. You can be sloppy, obnoxious and self-hating, and still get everything you want if you have to, if there's a group of people who want to see you make it, and who won't let you get away with anything no matter how you're feeling.
And it's proven true again and again. What happened on that score with Wishcraft is interesting: When I was writing the book my publishers told me to take out everything about Success Teams because books for teams don't sell. (I didn't believe them, so in a later book I wrote everything I knew about how to create teams, and guess what? They were right. That book is the only one of my books to ever go out of print.)
But readers got it anyway! I got letters from people who were reading Wishcraft in groups, and doing all the exercises in the book. "Hi Barbara. We've been working from your book for a year and everyone in the group has gotten their dream, so now we're going around a second time!"
I've written several books since then, but this one stays the favorite for almost everyone, year after year. And it makes me feel wonderful, that it's made a difference like that.
S: Well that's a real feat. Something in that book must be working really well.
B: Yes, and except for that book about teams which came out in 1989, not one of my other books went out of print either. It's 2009 now and I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was came out in 1994, Live the Life You Love in 1996, It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now in 1999 and Refuse To Choose in 2006, and every one of them continues to sell quite well, all around the world in lots of languages.
You know, it's tricky for an author like me to write more than one book: You don't want to copy yourself, but if you write something radically different, the publishers say "That's not what we want." So it's been quite a challenge making sure that very book was about something new.
Because I have only one message: If you do what you love, you will be using your DNA--it's what nature intended you to do. You will feel satisfied and you'll be giving your best to the rest of us. I honestly believe that you owe your gifts to the rest of us for the gift of life itself. So whenever someone feels guilty about doing what they love, I say, "Hey, if you don't do what you love it means you're stingy and you're not sharing. And that's not right. We need you."
S: Right. And so much of getting what you want is just asking yourself what it is. I wanted to go to the book expo, but didn't have the money. So I went on Twitter and said, "I can help you sell your book, I smell good, and I have a winning personality." I figured, what could it hurt.
B: You know that's the hardest thing to do, I think the difference in people's lives comes from whether they can feel comfortable enough to ask. And the more we care about something, the harder it is to ask for help.
TECH ENDS ISOLATION
I just love technology. You know, after those scientists who helped us understand the universe and our planet and our selves, the people I love most are the techies who gave us the internet. I was waiting for it for years. In 1984 I was on a New York bulletin board called Echo -- this is well before the Internet, and used something I didn't understand (and still don't) called Telnet. I never could have found it or figured out how to use it, but someone emailed me and said, "We're starting a Wishcraft discussion group. Would you like to be on it?" And I said, "Sure!" She came over, got me set up and wrote down instructions: "Hit 'J' wait 2 seconds, hit 'L' then start typing." I thought, "Oh I can do that." And I did.
I saw my dream of many years materialize right in front of me. I saw that we could all reach each other, find our people, find help, and I felt like cheering out the window as if we'd won the World Series. I got so excited I couldn't leave the computer.
We talked about interesting things, and that was great. You could find a decent dentist in New York who wouldn't charge too much, and a good movie to go to -- nothing huge, but I thought, This changes everything! It's here! Because I already knew that ISOLATION IS THE DREAMKILLER. I'd talked to these brilliant, interesting clients through the years who described their isolation when they were young, how they felt different and thought they were weird because everyone they knew did.
And I realized I was the same. Until I ran off to go to college (all on my own, but that's another story) I didn't know anyone who was like me. And people like this, grownups, are surrounded by people who think they're weird, so they try to go after their dreams and shake their sense of isolation with a positive attitude!! That's just nuts! You sit alone in your apartment, trying to have a positive attitude, when what you should be doing is letting everyone know who you are, what you need, and what you have to offer, and you should all be helping each other go after your dreams.
So when the internet finally showed up for everyone (i.e., laymen like me) to use, I thought, "Home stretch. Oh god, I'm glad I took care of my health." It's so wonderful, more wonderful than I ever imagined. You don't have to beg uncomprehending business people to give you a radio show because now you can have one right here on www.blogtalkradio.com (and I've got one myself!) Now you don't have to say, "How do I find the right doors to knock on, and why am I so sure they won't let me in." Now everybody can get in those doors. I just love that.
S: I'm a big Twitter fan. Social tech allows me to meet people I wouldn't be able to meet normally. I'm chatting with people on different continents! It's incredible. Why don't you talk a little bit about the Twitter Idea Party you got going? People would love to hear how you can use the internet to generate support and enthusiasm.
B: I'm very single-minded: everything I see, I think, "How can this help some genius sitting in Podunk, where everyone thinks he's a weirdo? How can this help that person connect up with other people who understand him perfectly and know someone who knows someone he should be talking to. That's life changing. That's world changing!
My son reminded me how every time I hear about a disaster of some kind, with lives lost, I always say, "My god, think about all the talent that got lost and we'll never know what it was."
And I knew there were still so many people out there who didn't know we all wanted to help make their dreams come true. I could see there were millions of people using Twitter, and I got so excited I got dizzy.
But when I finally jumped into Twitter, my heart sank. All I could think was, "This isn't what I meant! This is boring. I don't care what people are doing minute to minute." Someone writes "I just had a cup of coffee," and I think, "Congratulations." Or they're selling something. People got more help on my own bulletin board!
But then I realized how easy it would be to do an Idea Party on Twitter -- brainstorming, networking, that sort of thing. On a dare, I tried out the idea, took the problem of someone I knew personally and tossed it out to Twitter for a solution. The result was amazing. The problem was solved in hours and I had lists of resources and names and suggestions for how to achieve that dream. [The full story is below*]
Idea parties in person, face to face, are like magic. When I do one of my 3-hour workshops, live, there's a point where I say, "Does anyone have an impossible dream they want to share? Give me your wish and give me your obstacle." For example, I was in Greensboro, NC years ago, and a woman raised her hand. She said, "My dream is to dance with Patrick Swayze." Everyone laughed and I could hear murmurs of, "Yeah, you and every other woman alive," and then a woman raised her hand.
"Do you have an idea?" I said.
She said, "Yes, I have an idea. Patrick Swayze's mother has a resort 30 miles from here, I work there on the weekends, I've danced with Patrick Swayze, he's coming on Wednesday, I'll take you there to dance with him...if you like."
You can read a dozen stories like this one at barbarasherwishcraft.com. But let me tell you what happened the first time I actually tried to do an Idea Party on Twitter.
It was late at night on a Thursday, and I put out a wish for a client. He was a recent grad and couldn't figure out what to do, and he didn't like anything. But I remembered he said that when he was a kid he was mad about baseball. So I threw it out there, and within about a 1/2 hour, people were writing, "Here's a private baseball club in my town..." They came up with the most brilliant ideas I'd ever seen. And my friend went, "Wow," and I went, "Wow!"
And that's a very modest example. I could tell you amazing stories but there's no time today. I've put them up on blogs, though. Go to http://www.barbarasherwishcraft.com and you can read a bunch of them there. Because that kind of thing happens all the time.
That's when I realized that I could do a 24-hour global Idea Party, one that went through every time zone in the world, and make the same thing happen! I know from my travels that no matter where you are in the world, you probably have access to an internet cafe. And if you tell us your dream and your obstacle to achieving it, people from all over the world, strangers, will try to help you. I knew that if we had the numbers, there wasn't a problem we couldn't solve.
(We got those numbers. We 'trended' on Twitter for a few hours, meaning that lots of people were paying attention.)
But before it began, there was no knowing what would happen. We combined an open conference call with Twitter so that people with only a phone could come to the party, too, and every hour was run by two volunteers, telling each other which wish and obstacle was happening so they could toss it to each other. You could hear them talking on the conference call, and you could see solutions appearing in the Twitter boxes.
It worked. All of us, dozens of volunteers and my assistant Andrea and I at Command Central in my living room, were exhausted but happy.
I've gone on too long, but let me bring this around to where we started: None of this happened because of Positive Thinking. I want you to know that every single person who launched a dream that night came into the Twitter Idea Party with a totally negative attitude. They did not believe that anything would happen. Most of them were skeptical at the least, and usually down in the dumps.
Their negative attitudes were absolutely no problem at all. We launched their dreams anyway. And by the time they'd received dozens of ideas, contacts and offers of help, they were much more positive. :-) Of course, if they were humans and not robots, their new found upbeat feeling would come and go, over and over. But now they knew what they were supposed to do when they got stuck: not look in the mirror and say I love you, just call out for an Idea Party.
That's why I never stop saying the same thing, over and over: Isolation is the dream killer. Forget positive thinking (always done in Splendid Isolation) or you'll never see that everything has finally changed. The real secret to success has arrived and it has nothing to do with your attitude. And it has everything to do with the fact that you're not alone anymore.
Sandra: Barbara Sher is a NYT bestselling author who's been on major shows such as Oprah and the Today Show, with many of her books. The first one, Wishcraft, which has never been out of print since it was first published in 1979, celebrated the 30th anniversary of its publication on March 25th. To celebrate the 30th anniversary, Barbara used Twitter as it's never been used before: a 24-hour networking party where thousands of fans from all over the world joined her in her mission to make sure that [each and every one] achieve their dreams, find jobs, begin new careers, start their own businesses. You can see some of this on Twitter by going to Twitter and typing #Ideaparty. You can find everything you need to know at the special website she set up for this 30th anniversary event [www.Barbarasherwishcraft.com].
I'm delighted to have Barbara on the show today.
Hi Barbara. It's so good to have you on and to celebrate your book. 30 years, that's amazing.
B: Yes, it is. Believe me, I'm much more surprised than you are that so much time has passed!
S: Tell us what WISHCRAFT is all about.
B: Sure. First, let me explain where it came from, because I never really intended to be a writer. Everybody works hard to write a book and get it published. I had no notion I could ever do a thing like that. It all began because in 1967 I was in therapy groups with a very unconventional psychiatrist. He had adapted the techniques from a drug program, where they had invented some kind of scream, holler, attack, take no prisoners therapy.
He hired me after I'd been in those groups for a while, and I ran them very happily (it seemed normal to me that everybody would scream at each other - that was my Dad's hobby, and I gave as good as I took).
I won't tell the whole story here, but it's on the BarbaraSherWishcraft.com website. The short version is that one of the groups turned into a team that was helping someone fulfill a dream. Week after week I noticed that not only did they help this person, but they also started acting in a new way: they stopped being fussy and self-centered, they seemed less neurotic. And I thought, "Hello! I think I've stumbled on the secret to motivation."
It turned out that my hunch was right. Success turned out to be unrelated to positive thinking. I'd tried all that--never worked for me and apparently it doesn't work for a lot of us. At best, it just isn't strong enough. But worse, it promotes the notion that you can change the world by thinking differently. I don't understand how pretending you have that kind of power is about reality. It makes me uneasy.
And worse yet, if you couldn't manage to maintain a positive attitude, you felt like the worst kind of failure, the kind who brings all the hard luck on yourself. That's not fair, and it doesn't make any sense. Putting on a happy face was the exact opposite of what we worked on in those groups. Everyone was learning how to understand their feelings, how to be emotionally authentic. When you knew what you were really feeling, your life became so clear and you knew what you wanted and what you didn't want. The whole idea of pretending you were happy because that would somehow make things better seemed like the worst thing you could possibly do. Like throwing away your compass when you were lost.
What would work? From what I could see, if you come together every week like this group was doing, and you promise to take a step, and everybody wants you to succeed and is willing to help you, then you can come in each time having taken another step. The combination of support, the structure of regular meetings, and the accountability involved (you had chosen some 'homework,' and everyone was waiting each week to see how it went) was better than any motivator I'd ever seen.
And then I realized it was just like going to school: you have to show up, and you have to do your homework. That's the deal. How many of us would have gotten through school without that?
Now I wanted to see if we could put our dreams on that list of things we have to do. Instead of being required to do what the world wanted, how about being required to do what *we* wanted?
For over a year I tried this out on every member of the group, and in other groups as well, and it worked! So, I decided I was going to change the world by showing everyone how to go after their dreams, just as all of us had done. I designed a 12-hour workshop (it took me a long time because I was a single parent with 2 tiny children, 2 jobs, and I'm not very orderly on my best day!) But I carefully designed this workshop using storyboards for every action, and then I ran it for all my friends and everybody loved it. It didn't make any money--lost money, actually. But I asked everyone to bring anyone they knew who worked for a magazine or was on the radio--because I knew I had no money to advertise anywhere.
They were like my team: they brought in one freelance writer or columnist after another, and one day an editor from the New York Times came in and she followed a team and wrote up a story in the New York Times. I got calls from five different agents the next day, saying "would you like to write a book?"
So I was all excited, and I picked an agent and started banging away at this book. I came up with 400 pages somehow. I turned it in, and the agent said, "This isn't how you talk."
That was a revelation. It forever changed the way I write my books, and it's at the core of my 'WriteSpeak' classes. [http://www.writeyourownsuccessstory.com]
I had taped everything I said in the 12-hour workshop and I gave all the cassettes (10 workshops worth!) to one of the freelance writers who'd written a good article about the workshop. She organized and polished the material, and it turned into Wishcraft! Every hour I'd designed for the workshop became a chapter in the book.
When I handed in that manuscript, they liked it and suddenly I had a book. I was a published author.
S: That's an amazing story. So, what do you think the staying power of Wishcraft is? It sounds like you're the forerunner for the law of attraction in some way.
B: Yes and no. The truth of the matter is that I'm at polar opposites with anyone who either believes that it's good to have a positive attitude, or that you can draw things toward you by some sort of energy. I just don't go for that. A lot of people do, and if it works for them, great. But I don't. I'm so serious about this, that I wrote a cartoon booklet once called "How to get what you want, even if you have no goals, no character, and you're often in a lousy mood."
Because all this stuff about "I love myself, I can do it!"--I always knew it didn't work. When I was in college (I have A.D.D., I know that now) I had to study so hard to get a decent grade on an exam...and if they moved the exam one day, I'd flunk it. I'd walk into these exams feeling great, thinking, "I can do this," and next to me would be these sorority girls, saying, "Oh my god, I'm gonna flunk," and they'd come out with an A, and I'd get a B. So I thought, "Well so much for positive thinking."
That's when I figured out what makes us do things that are hard to do: it isn't the Law of Attraction, which I don't understand anyway. You know, I'm not a scientist, but I have a profound respect for science. And when I see something universal, something that's happening to everyone, I think, "This is Darwin, let's find out what's going on."
So I asked myself, "How do people manage to go to work, to raise children without a positive attitude or loving themselves or attracting anything?" Now maybe you can attract things, I don't know, but you can also attract the flu and flat tires. I never depend on the universe. It seems to have its own agenda.
And then I realized you have to show up at work or you'll get fired, you have to do your homework or you'll flunk, and you have to feed the kids or they'll tell the neighbors. I thought, "Wow, look at that," and that's when I came up with the idea of Success Teams, which is a place where 6 people get together, they meet once a week, and the only goal of the team is to make sure that every single member gets whatever they want.
We're all told to take a little step at a time, but for some psychological reason it's still very hard to do. We look at the size of the task to be done, and we're overwhelmed. At least, that's what we do when we're alone. No amount of positive thinking can help that, partly because no mood lasts as long as a big project. But it's worse than that: for one thing, no one can do it, so sooner or later you always fail; and now you've failed at two things: you haven't gotten your dream and you can't maintain a positive attitude. You never blame the people who taught you, you blame yourself. That makes me angry, I have to be honest. It's one of my missions to debunk that Positive Thinking philosophy whereever I see it because it's really terrible to blame yourself. It's like you've been handed a bad map and you blame yourself for not arriving at your destination.
But what bothers me even more is that, most of the time, believing in positive thinking is the same as believing you can do it on your own. All you need is the right attitude.
So my slogan, and I repeat it over and over, is this:
Isolation is the Dreamkiller, not your lousy attitude. You can be sloppy, obnoxious and self-hating, and still get everything you want if you have to, if there's a group of people who want to see you make it, and who won't let you get away with anything no matter how you're feeling.
And it's proven true again and again. What happened on that score with Wishcraft is interesting: When I was writing the book my publishers told me to take out everything about Success Teams because books for teams don't sell. (I didn't believe them, so in a later book I wrote everything I knew about how to create teams, and guess what? They were right. That book is the only one of my books to ever go out of print.)
But readers got it anyway! I got letters from people who were reading Wishcraft in groups, and doing all the exercises in the book. "Hi Barbara. We've been working from your book for a year and everyone in the group has gotten their dream, so now we're going around a second time!"
I've written several books since then, but this one stays the favorite for almost everyone, year after year. And it makes me feel wonderful, that it's made a difference like that.
S: Well that's a real feat. Something in that book must be working really well.
B: Yes, and except for that book about teams which came out in 1989, not one of my other books went out of print either. It's 2009 now and I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was came out in 1994, Live the Life You Love in 1996, It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now in 1999 and Refuse To Choose in 2006, and every one of them continues to sell quite well, all around the world in lots of languages.
You know, it's tricky for an author like me to write more than one book: You don't want to copy yourself, but if you write something radically different, the publishers say "That's not what we want." So it's been quite a challenge making sure that very book was about something new.
Because I have only one message: If you do what you love, you will be using your DNA--it's what nature intended you to do. You will feel satisfied and you'll be giving your best to the rest of us. I honestly believe that you owe your gifts to the rest of us for the gift of life itself. So whenever someone feels guilty about doing what they love, I say, "Hey, if you don't do what you love it means you're stingy and you're not sharing. And that's not right. We need you."
S: Right. And so much of getting what you want is just asking yourself what it is. I wanted to go to the book expo, but didn't have the money. So I went on Twitter and said, "I can help you sell your book, I smell good, and I have a winning personality." I figured, what could it hurt.
B: You know that's the hardest thing to do, I think the difference in people's lives comes from whether they can feel comfortable enough to ask. And the more we care about something, the harder it is to ask for help.
TECH ENDS ISOLATION
I just love technology. You know, after those scientists who helped us understand the universe and our planet and our selves, the people I love most are the techies who gave us the internet. I was waiting for it for years. In 1984 I was on a New York bulletin board called Echo -- this is well before the Internet, and used something I didn't understand (and still don't) called Telnet. I never could have found it or figured out how to use it, but someone emailed me and said, "We're starting a Wishcraft discussion group. Would you like to be on it?" And I said, "Sure!" She came over, got me set up and wrote down instructions: "Hit 'J' wait 2 seconds, hit 'L' then start typing." I thought, "Oh I can do that." And I did.
I saw my dream of many years materialize right in front of me. I saw that we could all reach each other, find our people, find help, and I felt like cheering out the window as if we'd won the World Series. I got so excited I couldn't leave the computer.
We talked about interesting things, and that was great. You could find a decent dentist in New York who wouldn't charge too much, and a good movie to go to -- nothing huge, but I thought, This changes everything! It's here! Because I already knew that ISOLATION IS THE DREAMKILLER. I'd talked to these brilliant, interesting clients through the years who described their isolation when they were young, how they felt different and thought they were weird because everyone they knew did.
And I realized I was the same. Until I ran off to go to college (all on my own, but that's another story) I didn't know anyone who was like me. And people like this, grownups, are surrounded by people who think they're weird, so they try to go after their dreams and shake their sense of isolation with a positive attitude!! That's just nuts! You sit alone in your apartment, trying to have a positive attitude, when what you should be doing is letting everyone know who you are, what you need, and what you have to offer, and you should all be helping each other go after your dreams.
So when the internet finally showed up for everyone (i.e., laymen like me) to use, I thought, "Home stretch. Oh god, I'm glad I took care of my health." It's so wonderful, more wonderful than I ever imagined. You don't have to beg uncomprehending business people to give you a radio show because now you can have one right here on www.blogtalkradio.com (and I've got one myself!) Now you don't have to say, "How do I find the right doors to knock on, and why am I so sure they won't let me in." Now everybody can get in those doors. I just love that.
S: I'm a big Twitter fan. Social tech allows me to meet people I wouldn't be able to meet normally. I'm chatting with people on different continents! It's incredible. Why don't you talk a little bit about the Twitter Idea Party you got going? People would love to hear how you can use the internet to generate support and enthusiasm.
B: I'm very single-minded: everything I see, I think, "How can this help some genius sitting in Podunk, where everyone thinks he's a weirdo? How can this help that person connect up with other people who understand him perfectly and know someone who knows someone he should be talking to. That's life changing. That's world changing!
My son reminded me how every time I hear about a disaster of some kind, with lives lost, I always say, "My god, think about all the talent that got lost and we'll never know what it was."
And I knew there were still so many people out there who didn't know we all wanted to help make their dreams come true. I could see there were millions of people using Twitter, and I got so excited I got dizzy.
But when I finally jumped into Twitter, my heart sank. All I could think was, "This isn't what I meant! This is boring. I don't care what people are doing minute to minute." Someone writes "I just had a cup of coffee," and I think, "Congratulations." Or they're selling something. People got more help on my own bulletin board!
But then I realized how easy it would be to do an Idea Party on Twitter -- brainstorming, networking, that sort of thing. On a dare, I tried out the idea, took the problem of someone I knew personally and tossed it out to Twitter for a solution. The result was amazing. The problem was solved in hours and I had lists of resources and names and suggestions for how to achieve that dream. [The full story is below*]
Idea parties in person, face to face, are like magic. When I do one of my 3-hour workshops, live, there's a point where I say, "Does anyone have an impossible dream they want to share? Give me your wish and give me your obstacle." For example, I was in Greensboro, NC years ago, and a woman raised her hand. She said, "My dream is to dance with Patrick Swayze." Everyone laughed and I could hear murmurs of, "Yeah, you and every other woman alive," and then a woman raised her hand.
"Do you have an idea?" I said.
She said, "Yes, I have an idea. Patrick Swayze's mother has a resort 30 miles from here, I work there on the weekends, I've danced with Patrick Swayze, he's coming on Wednesday, I'll take you there to dance with him...if you like."
You can read a dozen stories like this one at barbarasherwishcraft.com. But let me tell you what happened the first time I actually tried to do an Idea Party on Twitter.
It was late at night on a Thursday, and I put out a wish for a client. He was a recent grad and couldn't figure out what to do, and he didn't like anything. But I remembered he said that when he was a kid he was mad about baseball. So I threw it out there, and within about a 1/2 hour, people were writing, "Here's a private baseball club in my town..." They came up with the most brilliant ideas I'd ever seen. And my friend went, "Wow," and I went, "Wow!"
And that's a very modest example. I could tell you amazing stories but there's no time today. I've put them up on blogs, though. Go to http://www.barbarasherwishcraft.com and you can read a bunch of them there. Because that kind of thing happens all the time.
That's when I realized that I could do a 24-hour global Idea Party, one that went through every time zone in the world, and make the same thing happen! I know from my travels that no matter where you are in the world, you probably have access to an internet cafe. And if you tell us your dream and your obstacle to achieving it, people from all over the world, strangers, will try to help you. I knew that if we had the numbers, there wasn't a problem we couldn't solve.
(We got those numbers. We 'trended' on Twitter for a few hours, meaning that lots of people were paying attention.)
But before it began, there was no knowing what would happen. We combined an open conference call with Twitter so that people with only a phone could come to the party, too, and every hour was run by two volunteers, telling each other which wish and obstacle was happening so they could toss it to each other. You could hear them talking on the conference call, and you could see solutions appearing in the Twitter boxes.
It worked. All of us, dozens of volunteers and my assistant Andrea and I at Command Central in my living room, were exhausted but happy.
I've gone on too long, but let me bring this around to where we started: None of this happened because of Positive Thinking. I want you to know that every single person who launched a dream that night came into the Twitter Idea Party with a totally negative attitude. They did not believe that anything would happen. Most of them were skeptical at the least, and usually down in the dumps.
Their negative attitudes were absolutely no problem at all. We launched their dreams anyway. And by the time they'd received dozens of ideas, contacts and offers of help, they were much more positive. :-) Of course, if they were humans and not robots, their new found upbeat feeling would come and go, over and over. But now they knew what they were supposed to do when they got stuck: not look in the mirror and say I love you, just call out for an Idea Party.
That's why I never stop saying the same thing, over and over: Isolation is the dream killer. Forget positive thinking (always done in Splendid Isolation) or you'll never see that everything has finally changed. The real secret to success has arrived and it has nothing to do with your attitude. And it has everything to do with the fact that you're not alone anymore.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
PUTTING MY LATEST NEWSLETTER IN HERE for those of you who aren't on my mailing list (and who will miss all the low cost teleclasses i do on Resistance and that kind of thing, but oh well I always say :-) )
But future blogs will be posted much more often than my infrequent newsletters, so if you are on the mailing list and you like hearing about this kind of thing, head over to Twitter and follow me and I'll tweet each time I post here.
October 9, 2009
I'm back in the old USA after a month traveling through Europe speaking at workshops and running retreats, little dog under my arm, lugging stuff. Did you ever wonder what life on the road is like for a famous (I still laugh when I use that word) author and speaker?
Well, no one lifts your bag at check-in or security. (Because, as an author, people don't usually know you. Maybe I should have been a movie star.) Then they refuse to bend the rules about extra baggage. (Didn't anyone tell them I am famous and have to carry my fame around in an extra bag??) I have learned to search for people with upper-body mass to help me with the lifting, and in Europe I really did have help.
But then you have to cram yourself in a tiny seat in coach. (Yes, coach is where many of us famous authors must sit and the seats seem to be getting smaller every year, and no, I didn't gain weight, wiseguy.) If the person in front leans back you can't read or eat.
I can't describe the food -- I won't describe the food (once was enough), and don't get me started about the taxis who wouldn't pick us and our luggage up at the train station in Frankfurt (because the hotel was too nearby and my Yorkie troubled them) but suffice it to say that, while I love being in places like Toulouse, Hamburg, Frankfurt, Zurich and Corfu, I do not love getting there.
So why do I bother writing books and getting out there to speak in front of audiences who have read them?
Because when I see people's faces light up with the realization that there's nothing wrong with them -- when I can make them laugh by making fun of Positive Thinking, when someone in the front row smiles at me with tears in her eyes because she sees that help is on the way, and when I get a letter like the one at the bottom of this newsletter -- then all those other hassles disappear out of my mind, and I know exactly why I've chosen this life.
What about you? Is there something you've learned, something that could help people, something you ache to tell the world? Would you like to find your life's mission and have that kind of energy and purpose and be able to pay your bills, too? (In coach, at least :-)) Then I really think you ought to take a look at the WriteSpeak program.
The Teleworkshop, Part I of the Write Your Own Success Story program, is where you will find your message. By the end of the day that message will call to you loud and clear. You'll also have a team of buddies who want to see you succeed, and they'll keep you going. You'll have learned all the technology and unusual systems I've developed that you'll need to launch your career as a well-paid speaker/author; and you'll have a program for how to proceed if you choose to stop with Part I.
The good news is that you'll love it. The bad news is that the scheduled WriteSpeak Part I Teleworkshop on October 24 is full, and you can't get into the Part II 5-Day Retreat unless you've taken it.
So I thought I'd ask how many of you wish you could be in the prerequisite Teleworkshop, and if there are enough signups, (each part of the program is limited to 15 people), I'll open up one more Part I Teleworkshop on November 1.
Go read about it at WriteYourOwnSuccessStory and if you're feeling the urge to do what I do, that is, to take what you've learned in your life and try to help others with it, then you should be at Part I, maybe Part II as well. Just let me know asap because spaces will go on a first-come, first-served basis. If you send in your fee and the Nov. 1 workshop doesn't fill up and is cancelled, you'll get a refund right away, of course. And then we'll sit down together and try to come up with Plan B before the retreat begins.
You know this, but let me say it again anyway: If there is something you can give the world, then you have to give it. We weren't put on this planet to use up natural resources. You owe your gifts to the rest of us in return for the gift of life itself. If you know something we could benefit from knowing, you have to do something about it. If I can help you do that, just let me know.
Here's that letter I mentioned above. I've been getting at least one of these letters (often more) every day for many years. Read it and you'll never again wonder why someone would want to do what I do.
Below the letter is a new video we just put up on YouTube of me speaking to a packed house in Frankfurt. Please note that, in spite of my pathetic complaints about travel trouble, that I'm obviously having a very good time. That's the part of being a speaker I forgot to mention. :-)
Dear Barbara,
I have been studying self-improvement for most of my life, attended seminars, listened to audio books and read hundreds of hardcopies. It wasn't until I read Chapter Thirteen "A rage against the ordinary" in your book "I Could Do Anything If I Knew What It Was" that I realized who I was for the first time. I cried when I thought back to my childhood and realized that this child was still holding me back. I am forever in your debt for helping me find myself and begin truly living my life. I hope that someday I can help another as you have helped me. Thank you so much.
Sincerely, MK
But future blogs will be posted much more often than my infrequent newsletters, so if you are on the mailing list and you like hearing about this kind of thing, head over to Twitter and follow me and I'll tweet each time I post here.
October 9, 2009
I'm back in the old USA after a month traveling through Europe speaking at workshops and running retreats, little dog under my arm, lugging stuff. Did you ever wonder what life on the road is like for a famous (I still laugh when I use that word) author and speaker?
Well, no one lifts your bag at check-in or security. (Because, as an author, people don't usually know you. Maybe I should have been a movie star.) Then they refuse to bend the rules about extra baggage. (Didn't anyone tell them I am famous and have to carry my fame around in an extra bag??) I have learned to search for people with upper-body mass to help me with the lifting, and in Europe I really did have help.
But then you have to cram yourself in a tiny seat in coach. (Yes, coach is where many of us famous authors must sit and the seats seem to be getting smaller every year, and no, I didn't gain weight, wiseguy.) If the person in front leans back you can't read or eat.
I can't describe the food -- I won't describe the food (once was enough), and don't get me started about the taxis who wouldn't pick us and our luggage up at the train station in Frankfurt (because the hotel was too nearby and my Yorkie troubled them) but suffice it to say that, while I love being in places like Toulouse, Hamburg, Frankfurt, Zurich and Corfu, I do not love getting there.
So why do I bother writing books and getting out there to speak in front of audiences who have read them?
Because when I see people's faces light up with the realization that there's nothing wrong with them -- when I can make them laugh by making fun of Positive Thinking, when someone in the front row smiles at me with tears in her eyes because she sees that help is on the way, and when I get a letter like the one at the bottom of this newsletter -- then all those other hassles disappear out of my mind, and I know exactly why I've chosen this life.
What about you? Is there something you've learned, something that could help people, something you ache to tell the world? Would you like to find your life's mission and have that kind of energy and purpose and be able to pay your bills, too? (In coach, at least :-)) Then I really think you ought to take a look at the WriteSpeak program.
The Teleworkshop, Part I of the Write Your Own Success Story program, is where you will find your message. By the end of the day that message will call to you loud and clear. You'll also have a team of buddies who want to see you succeed, and they'll keep you going. You'll have learned all the technology and unusual systems I've developed that you'll need to launch your career as a well-paid speaker/author; and you'll have a program for how to proceed if you choose to stop with Part I.
The good news is that you'll love it. The bad news is that the scheduled WriteSpeak Part I Teleworkshop on October 24 is full, and you can't get into the Part II 5-Day Retreat unless you've taken it.
So I thought I'd ask how many of you wish you could be in the prerequisite Teleworkshop, and if there are enough signups, (each part of the program is limited to 15 people), I'll open up one more Part I Teleworkshop on November 1.
Go read about it at WriteYourOwnSuccessStory and if you're feeling the urge to do what I do, that is, to take what you've learned in your life and try to help others with it, then you should be at Part I, maybe Part II as well. Just let me know asap because spaces will go on a first-come, first-served basis. If you send in your fee and the Nov. 1 workshop doesn't fill up and is cancelled, you'll get a refund right away, of course. And then we'll sit down together and try to come up with Plan B before the retreat begins.
You know this, but let me say it again anyway: If there is something you can give the world, then you have to give it. We weren't put on this planet to use up natural resources. You owe your gifts to the rest of us in return for the gift of life itself. If you know something we could benefit from knowing, you have to do something about it. If I can help you do that, just let me know.
Here's that letter I mentioned above. I've been getting at least one of these letters (often more) every day for many years. Read it and you'll never again wonder why someone would want to do what I do.
Below the letter is a new video we just put up on YouTube of me speaking to a packed house in Frankfurt. Please note that, in spite of my pathetic complaints about travel trouble, that I'm obviously having a very good time. That's the part of being a speaker I forgot to mention. :-)
Dear Barbara,
I have been studying self-improvement for most of my life, attended seminars, listened to audio books and read hundreds of hardcopies. It wasn't until I read Chapter Thirteen "A rage against the ordinary" in your book "I Could Do Anything If I Knew What It Was" that I realized who I was for the first time. I cried when I thought back to my childhood and realized that this child was still holding me back. I am forever in your debt for helping me find myself and begin truly living my life. I hope that someday I can help another as you have helped me. Thank you so much.
Sincerely, MK
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